I got a marriage advice yesterday.
The adviser must have thought that to be one of the best advice he had ever given.
"Ensure you make little money before getting married. And do not scare the men away o!", went the advice.
I was offended. Not because I felt the advice was bad. But I felt it painted me ignorant. Of course, I have it on my mind to achieve certain goals before getting married.
In fact, marriage is not a priority for me from now until the next four years. Thus, having to be given the advice to get 'little' money before marriage was akin to degrading my priorities (my opinion!).
The idea of making 'little' money was even more vexing. I had to tell the Uncle who gave the advice that I intended to make 'big' money.
Contrary to societal norm, I do not intend to be less financially positioned than my husband. I do not intend to be lower in status either. I do not intend to hide behind a man's shadow in the name of being married.
Some will say that I am feminist and perhaps will be right to say so.
This brings me to the issue of not scaring the men away. Perhaps this was the reason the uncle wanted the money I will make before marriage to be 'small'.
Any man that will be scared off by a woman's wealth, status or even intellect is a coward. No woman should be made to reduce herself, make herself small to get a man.
More so, a man is not a prize. A woman is to be sought and pursued by a man. Thus, the idea of doing certain things to earn a Man's favour is one that doesn't sit well with me.
Ladies should be encouraged to love themselves and feel comfortable being themselves. Generally, ladies have low self-esteem issues and discouraging them from shining only adds to the low self-esteem.
Inequality in gender exists, even in the advice given to both genders on issues such as marriage.
I hope someone somewhere is giving some guy the same advice I was given. " Try to make little money before getting married. And don't scare the women away".
- Chizaram Opara
