Truthfully, this was not what I planned to talk about today; I guess I would talk about that tomorrow instead.
Anyways, I had been hearing of allegations of sexual harassment in the Hollywood industry for some time now and then I stumbled on a post detailing some of the harassment some women go through in the industry and how they started opening up recently. I saw one about a woman made to go nude in front of producers and then they were all criticizing her weight, I read another one about having a business meeting and the man came in naked, the woman wanted to run and the man kept going on about how it will be a bad decision for her to leave.
Well, you can guess that all these definitely got me musing but today my musings were not directed at the men that have humiliated and abused these women or men in general who sexually victimize woman, it was directed to these women and by these women I mean women all over the world that have been harassed in one way or the other.
Okay so I was thinking about how easy it is for one to scream and shout that these women should speak out. And we go in our fighting and motivational stance..
“If you are being molested or harassed, speak out! The silence is the tool of the man! Tell people! Don’t be ashamed! Don’t be shy!”
And on and on we go, saying it like it is a very easy thing to do.
Now let me give you an insight into myself or let me say how I think. I am not one to jump into conclusions, make judgments or condemn people and this was because of some experiences I had growing up. Have you ever been in a situation where you can almost swear on your mother’s grave that you would never do something and then you find yourself doing it? Well, I have been and it made me realize that I might not have understood someone who had done the same thing if I had not gone through my own experience. So I learnt to always look at the other side to a story and being a law student taught me that too. There is always a second side to a story or let’s say a different perspective.
So, why am I talking like I am against women speaking out when they are molested. Trust me totally, I AM NOT! I am all up for speaking up, all I am saying is we should not be so harsh to scream at them and pour our self-righteous, pushy motivational speeches down their throat and talking like they are irresponsible or cowardly for not talking because you do not know exactly what they might have gone through.
What exactly am I talking about here? Mindset, mentality and rationale in advising victims of sexual harassment, we should not blame or criticize them when they do not take the steps we want them to take, or steps we feel they should have taken. Sometimes, we might have no idea about how hard it is speaking of something so intimately painful, do you think they do not want to speak? I am too sure they cry inside but something holds them back. What? Different things! Fear, family, failure, career, reputation, humiliation, criticism, you just name it!
Do you want to say that these women in Hollywood speaking out now did not know about speaking out? Of course they did but then anything could have been holding them back but I am so glad that they are talking now because truthfully, it takes a whole lot of strength to be able to talk about sexual harassment especially in this kind of society where everyone seems ready to hurl stones at the woman.
In the end what am I saying? Victims of harassment, rape, molestation and all, I recognize the fact that it is not easy to speak out and up but then you need to heal and you might not be lucky enough to do so without confronting the situation or speaking up. Also, your courage could push other women to start talking and we start exposing all these men hiding in the cover of your silence. It will be a long journey but you can take it a step at a time. And to everyone, talking about them, whether to advise or condemn the acts and all, remember that you do not always know the other side of the story. Don’t condemn the women for not speaking out; they need your comfort and friendship better than your tongue lashing.
***These were my musings this afternoon that I thought I should share, if it meant anything to you.. Don’t forget to upvote, resteem and comment. Much loveeee