2018 has not been great so far...but I can decide to change that right now.
I yelled at my son last night because he wanted fucking crackers at 10:30pm, and my wife and I wanted to sleep. My wife got angry and slept on the couch. She taught yoga today at 9am and had to be super inspirational because it's new years so she needed sleep. I slept like shit because I got angry and yelled, and then fire works went off an hour later and kept me up for a while...fucking fireworks.
My wife decided at the last minute this morning that she wanted to print out a worksheet she made for her new year's resolutions/goals and hand it out during her yoga class. She called her mom and had her print out 30 worksheets for the class (we don't have a printer), then asked if I could go pick up the worksheets and get them to the yoga studio by 9am.
I woke up with a headache this morning, and sort of angry, after yelling at my son, being woken up by backyard fireworks for an hour at midnight, and not recovering fully from a hangover from the night before. I reacted very poorly to being asked to run this errand at the last minute, I was barely awake and feeling like shit. I should have been nicer about doing it, and I made it pretty clear that I was annoyed as fuck about it.
But I did it anyways. Instead of making breakfast for my son and hanging around the house, the two of us rushed to get dressed, get the worksheets from my mother in laws house, and get to the yoga studio to drop them off. I'll be honest it really pissed me off to have to do that...but my wife ended up having a great yoga class and people loved the worksheets.
My son and I went out to breakfast at Denny's, went to the park for a bit, then got home and hung out before his nap. I still feel like shit, but something I did helped a bunch of people I don't know have a better yoga class. I know I should feel happy about that, but I still have some lingering grumpiness.
I know that if I just take a deep breath and reflect on how I helped people today, rather than be pissed that I had to do something, I will have a better year, and a better life.
Things I want to stop doing in 2018:
-Yelling at my 3 year old
-Getting angry when I have to help people, or when they ask me for a favor that I feel I cannot refuse
-Being hungover for two days, or at all
-Pretending to be powerless when in fact I do have the power to accomplish what I want
-Stop believing my own bullshit excuses and just get shit done
Things I need to start doing in 2018 and not stop doing until I die:
-Getting over my own shit and moving forward in a positive way
-Enjoy helping others and knowing that my actions make a difference
-Be patient, nice, and understanding to my family, friends, coworkers, and everyone else as much as possible
-Cultivate my passions and turn them into something that can sustain me and provide livelihood
-Proactively think of ways I can help others
-Share more of my thoughts and who I really am with the world