As a vested interest in a person who does not know how to lose his temper, I have more perspectives to share.
[Never know and master] The other person's temper is not because he is more tolerant of you, but because he does not know how to lose his temper, and the correct use of emotional expression is missing in his consciousness. There are a few such friends around, and there are not very good childhood memories. For example, one of his parents divorced in his early years. The mother is a strong woman who walks for the cause. The child follows his father but his father squats again, so that he is living in a human face. The material life that his parents gave him was not bad but lacked emotional concern. Later, there were new children in the new family. In order not to be treated coldly by their parents, they developed a habit of suppressing their inner emotional needs to please people. I have never seen this person lose his temper, but I have seen him crying after drinking too much. The long-term unnoticed effect of not being loved by childhood is to make him think that emotions are useless, or that they never master the correct way to use emotions. Once such people are really angry, it can be imagined that the trigger point should be quite high.
[Lack of security] Another familiar person was raised in his grandmother's house since he was a child. Because his family has added a new brother, the busy parents can't take care of them, and they will take care of the older ones. This is actually an example of feeling that his position in the eyes of his parents is not clear and he pays more attention to the techniques. I remember listening to the other person. When I was a child, I most hoped that my parents would come to see him. I have a lot of attachment to my mother, but they will still leave afterwards to take care of another younger child. This made him form a problem personality in adulthood. It shows that he always looks like a lack of love. He loves to show himself. He spreads the net and hopes to maintain as many gender relations as possible. Because he lacks a sense of security from the heart, he is rarely angry. He is too afraid that the people around him will leave, and the side effects of that childhood experience also allow him to develop as many emotional relationships as possible with a greedy attitude. I have heard that this person’s only tantrum is when one of his girlfriends tried to find another of his girlfriends. How can that be done? The sense of security will be broken, and the interests will suffer losses. The later stories are no longer elaborated. The anger of such people is that when they are clearly violated with tangible benefits, there is no more fear than specific losses. Otherwise, they can use "tolerance" in exchange for an overall balance.
[Educational Mistakes] In childhood, the tutor is too strict and grows up in an authoritarian family. Every time you express your attitude, you will suppress it by saying that “parents are good for you” and “to be obedient”. This type of person's emotions are not without, but in the long-term and useless environment against parents, they are used to self-repression. But the emotions that have been suppressed are not all properly resolved, but are accumulating. The trigger point that makes them angry may not seem serious at all, but it is a long-standing dissatisfaction accumulated because of not expressing emotions, and some even anger. This type is the most dangerous in my opinion. I feel pessimistic and unwilling to endure it, but I still have to endure it. The emotions that you can't see are repeated in the heart, and it's not a proper analogy. It's like a pressure cooker. When the pressure reaches a certain level and you can't find a correct discharge, it is "a anger to the end of the sky." It’s up.
[Peace lovers] pay too much attention to a balanced atmosphere, at the expense of disguising the true feelings in order to achieve a balance. This type of person is best at self-regulation, self-convincing, and will find a reasonable explanation for various problems. They will regard "peace" so much, perhaps because they have suffered from the great losses caused by the conflict, and they have formed a stubborn sense of fear in their hearts. Perhaps because of the limited ability to know, it is best to control the situation to a lower risk. They are realists who are used to sacrificing part of their benefits in exchange for another. This is about the trade-offs in personal values, but that's it.
[Exchange consciousness] "I have no limit to you. No matter how arrogant or overbearing you are, I will not be angry with you, not because I don't want it, but because I don't dare." These people believe that they can change your heart. The typicality of my heart, the formation of such relationships is usually because of the unequal relationship, such as the value of one partner is far greater than the other; for example, the lack of ability can be supplemented by attitude; for example, in one aspect, the other party owes too much or does If you have a guilty conscience, you have a sense of guilt in your heart; or you have a handle in your hand, even if you are complained, you will not resist emotion. Such relationships are dangerous. If you can't recognize the reasons for patience as early as possible, those grievances will explode one day sooner or later, and they will accumulate that they are too good for others, but the other party does not appreciate the resentment... But you I have deceived others but I can't lie to myself. Pulling the attitude down causes the inequality of the relationship, how can there be no reason?
This kind of attitude that people show in front of people is most likely to be sympathized, and it is most likely that people who have been tolerant of their "benefits" can hardly tell. Because public opinion will definitely favor the party that seems to pay more and endure, and it is easy to ignore the things behind the surface of the phenomenon.
[Emotional Transfer] They don't have a good temper at all, but they give their emotions to those who trust. When they are exposed to the outside world, they often surprise others. For example, the outside world is always breezy, but it will easily anger the lovers who care very much about themselves. For example, it seems that there is no desire, but the emotions are transferred to the closest family. The cause may be that there is no sense of security for external expression; care about the personal image that has been maintained for a long time; the inner perfectionism, the more ceremonial education, the ugly feeling of expressing the emotions on the outside, and the fact that it is impossible to accept the other side of the situation... If you are lucky In the case of a lover who loves and loves more than himself, this situation may be alleviated. I hope that this type will meet those who are willing to give yourself enough patience and guidance.
[Dark operation] These kinds of characters often appear in film and television dramas. There are not many people who see the truth in reality, but since they think of it, they will add it up and everyone will not have to sit down with this type. That is, only people have shown their smiles before, and when they encounter dissatisfaction, they will start in the dark and get used to the type of yin. They don't need to be angry for anything, because there is always a black-box method to solve the problem, and there is only one possibility for them to anger, that is, when the cards are taken away, the black screen is exposed, and all the plans are at a loss. This kind of character often appears as an important supporting role, and has a complex character. The characteristic is that people are always in harmony with each other, and they will be portrayed dangerous temperament when they are alone.
Because there are few people who can see a relatively healthy personality but don't know how to be irritated at the right time, there is no positive example here. Those who really have a certain emotional intelligence and know how to communicate will use emotional expression as a tool. If you need to strengthen your attitude when you need it, you can also find a breakthrough in your emotions. I have written such a saying: Love has something to do, there is something to say, there is a solution, and anger is in place. With these most basic premises, talent will not hate life. You first blocked your emotions and blocked them. Afterwards, you blame the unfair life. Who can you complain to, besides yourself? Don't tell me that good temper is "goodness", that is, you have never experienced the evil born by connivance. Strict attitudes must be there in too many things, or swinging around or ambiguous or resentful or self-deception... That is not good, ignorance.
People's anger is "value", a small thing may arouse 10% of your anger, but when you pile up ten such small things, wait for them to disturb you in your heart, then you can't afford to re-dissolve, then The malignant effect may not be just 100%. It is always wrong to take out emotions and other eruptions. Self-regulation does not mean that you must suppress. Emotional communication is smooth, and knowing how to ask for and express interpersonal relationships to the other side in front of you is truly a person and think for yourself. They are not reluctant, but they are not conniving. There is joy to reveal, and not to avoid expressing pain. Being able to do this at the same time is not an easy task.