How Do You Spot A Liar?
If you're anything like me then you've never told a lie in your life either and often wonder why people make claims that they know are untrue, including the one you just read. Most of the time we don't really mean any harm when misrepresenting a fact; they're just little white lies to make your life slightly more convenient, like 'it's lovely to see you again' or 'we're just 5 minutes away' or 'of course I'm a qualified gynecologist.'
When he lies, his nose gets bigger, making the fact that he has no nostrils even more pronounced
Of course some lies can be more pernicious and have far reaching consequences. These can range from solemn oaths pronounced when one's hand is held over a book that claims the Earth is 6000 years old, to very simple utterances like 'I do.' But what drives us to lie? And are there reliable ways to spot lies? Well, as someone with a PhD in behavior psychology and 40 years of professional experience, I feel I'm qualified to shed some light on this topic.
Why Do We Lie?
Studies have shown that in a typical conversation with a stranger, the average person will lie over 3 times in the first 10 minutes, although that average drops down to a little below 1 if you discount Donald Trump. This level of ubiquitous pathological lying in our species would seem to suggest there may exists an evolutionary reason for it.
Researchers postulate that as social beings, we humans have undergone an evolutionary arms race between lying and spotting lies. This is because historically, the art of deception and the ability to detect it both yield survival and reproductive advantages. The long running contest between 'of course you don't look fat in that' and suspecting he's probably sleeping with your skinny ass sister, is to blame for us all being expert prevaricators.
There is evidence that other primates are also capable of lying. Some of you may have heard of the story of Koko the gorilla, who, when confronted, famously used sign language to blame a broken steel sink in her enclosure on her tiny pet kitten. Of course the only first-hand account of this incident came from a maintenance worker whose sole job it was to keep all the sinks in the gorilla enclosure in good working condition. The point is that we can find the evolutionary roots of lying in other animals as well.
Even tastier than a banana
How Can You Spot Lies?
Sometimes you can spot a liar just by looking at them. For example, if they're male, Asian, write comedy on Steemit and have a 10 inch penis, they're probably a liar. But there are also a multitude of signals that people tend to unwittingly give off when they're telling a fib. For example, I have a propensity of scratching my hemorrhoids and sniffing my fingers involuntarily every time I'm being a little deceptive. I think it's just nervousness, we all do it. I also believe I'm one of the best poker players in the world because nobody ever dares play against me again, even when most of them get lucky and win my money the first time around.
Here are some other common symptoms exhibited by other people when they're lying, or me when I'm telling the truth:
- Non contracted sentence - In an effort to compensate for the lack of veracity in their claim, liars will often use more formal language. Eg: 'Trust me when I say I will not be using this same example twice in a row.'
- Conditional qualifiers - Similarly, when lying, people tend to over-qualify their statements. Eg: 'Trust me when I say I will not be using this same example twice in a row.' Certain qualifiers themselves are almost guaranteed to be lies. A popular one being 'I'm not racist but...'
- Distancing language - We tend to distance ourselves from the subject when we're not entirely truthful: Bill Clinton famously said 'I did not have sex with that woman which, thinking he was referring to Hillary, everyone initially believed until he added 'Miss Lewinsky.' Referring to her as 'that woman' was a subconscious attempt to distance himself from her.
There are also a number of common nonverbal cues, and I don't mean all the lies you've read so far in this article in writing, I mean body language signals as to when one might be lying:
Make sure the photographer is not behind you when you're reading your wedding vows
- Direct eye contact - The idea that liars have difficulty making eye contact is a common misconception. To the contrary, they're usually quite desperate to look unfazed as well wanting to see if you've bought their story. So be very skeptical when your spouse comes home late from work one day and all of a sudden starts staring you down like a champion boxer.
- Feet pointing towards exit - Liars instinctively wish to get out of what they deem to be a threatening interrogation and may unconsciously posture themselves to leave the room. Unless they're farting a lot, then they probably just need to go to the toilet really badly.
- Their mouth is moving - only works when they're politicians.
Conclusion
While it would be awfully convenient to be able to detect liars by their abnormally long nose or their wearing pants that are inexplicably engulfed in flames all the time, spotting lies in the real world is, unfortunately, an unreliable science and none of the above signals on their own would constitute conclusive proof that someone is lying. However, given the context, they can help to inform you of the likelihood that someone isn't being entirely truthful.
I suppose the lesson here is if you have to lie, a good memory never hurts as you'll need to keep track of all your individual fabrications so as to not give yourself away. Also, try to do it over the phone or email so they won't get a read on your sweaty little face. Finally, a good memory never hurts as you'll need to keep track of all your individual fabrications so as to not give yourself away.
What are some of the dumbest lies you've heard or told over the years? Let me know in the comments below!
References
Why Do We Lie
Former CIA Officer Will Teach You How to Spot a Lie l Digiday
The Science of Lying
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