Some of you may be aware of the old portrayals of chivalry – the knight laying his cloak over a puddle so a lady might cross the muddy ground, without dirtying her feet.
Oh, those days of yore where men were real men (and in New Zealand, sheep were nervous) and women were dainty and beautiful.
In these days of rampant cynicism (and Trump), it may be easy to think that such simple acts of chivalry as things of the past, of a long dead era, mouldering away beneath dusty bookshelves and rusting armour.
But I say to you dear reader, it is not so!
For this very eventide I was witness to such an act!
It is true I say.
There I was, freshly stepped out of the shower, my body glistening with beads of deliciously hot water. (you will have to imagine this yourselves as I didn’t take a selfie. Sorry.) I dried myself and progressed from the bathroom, intent on traversing our humble abode to my boudoir, where I would cover my nakedness.
The path takes me through that mysterious room of scented delights, where wonders are conjured each evening, that which we call ‘the kitchen’.
I opened the door and prepared myself for the encounter of my bare soles with the linoleum, when a warning voice, that of my darling wife, rang out.
‘Stop’ she cried. ‘Go thee, and fetch me a towel.’
Being the dutiful husband that I am, I did as she bade and fetched a towel. She then took from me the towel and placed it on the floor, where the dripping from a masterful creation had left a puddle on its journey from the oven to the bench.
Oh, such chivalry, such noble majesty! My sweet darling covered the puddle so that I might safely cross the kitchen, and my dainty feet be not stained by the mess on the floor. Has a man ever been so well treated?
Doth this not mark the true measure of feeling betwixt a man and a woman?
And so I sit now in full comfort, with warm, dry, clean feet and write to you, my dear reader, so that you may know that the true art of humanity, of kindness, of noble chivalry, is not dead. You may need to look a bit harder to find it, but I can assure you, it is out there.
In my case, it is in the kitchen. And now I think I’ll go and make her a cup of tea.