What Do People ACTUALLY Want?

One day, a pressing question crossed my mind - What do people actually want? Is it happiness? Love? Respect?

The truth is, there is no such thing as a universal desire. Every person is different. People all around the world live their lives with different convictions and beliefs about happiness. Each of us tries to create results by establishing goals around what we believe it will make us happy, but will it work?

Everyone is driven by something, but what that something IS makes the entire difference. Today, more and more individuals start their maturity on the wrong foot. That does not mean that they’re not capable or smart. It’s just that their plan is not well-crafted.

After reading this article, you will figure out if your goals are well-aligned and decided by you or if they're the product of others.

Programmed Goals & Beliefs

You must have written to Santa at least once during your childhood. Do you remember how simple things were? You could have chosen anything you wanted. However, as time passed, that choice become limited. What I mean by that is that as you grow up, your parents, friends, and society itself quickly set their mark upon your mindset.

For example, my beautiful girlfriend, out of a sudden, in the middle of her life, has realized that her life and goals were not actually hers. She started to question where did the whole law-school non-sense came from, and why did she follow through?

Why did she spend so much time doing something he has not even enjoyed? It finally came to her mind that the path which she has chosen a long time ago is no longer possible.

Do YOU Have any False Goals?

I will ask you three questions:

1. Do you wake up driven and motivated to start a new day?
2. Do you have a clear purpose of why you are waking up?
3. Are you passionate about your activities?

If you answer “no” to any of these questions, there is a good sign that your goals and beliefs might not actually be “yours,” but programmed by others. Do not feel shocked or anything, it happens to quite a lot of people.

Here is how someone gets to pursue the “wrong goals”; or better said...how someone gets to pursue illusions and look for happiness at the same time:

a) People’s minds are programmed since a young age. Your beliefs might never be yours; it may be something you have heard on TV, or something X said, and you believed. That thing changed your goals:
Examples: I must earn XXXXX$/month to be happy / If I want happiness, I need a high paying job (even if I hate it)

b) Someone who never takes time with himself to actually think and reflect upon his goals and purpose.

c) Someone who suffered a traumatizing event or a bad childhood may unconsciously decide their goals based on needs instead of wants.

Okay, now that you have understood that not all goals actually belong to you, and many of them may be altered by other factors, let’s see how you can change that for the best.

Analyzing and Correcting Your Current Goals

I have prepared a special exercise, which will hopefully help you find your true goals and purpose.

What I want you to do is put ALL your beliefs, assumptions and attitudes aside Just for a few minutes. Please. Try it - it's tough yet achievable. A little help - Imagine you're an ANGEL who looks upon YOU, the person. Be the OBSERVER.

Now you might be finally doing what you should have done years ago: INTROSPECTION

1. Take a piece of paper and quickly jot down the main three desires that your subconscious mind dictates. Let them flow, let your heart speak…You should not think too long about it; most of your choices are influenced by your emotions, so you're not doing anything that you haven't done a million times before.

2. Now, imagine yourself sitting in a wheeling chair, 90 years old, and not much time left. As you are thinking about your life, do these three goals come up and totally make you feel happy? Would you leave here feeling truly fulfilled?

3. If the answer is YES, then you seem to have already figured it out. However, for those who get an “error,” that is another clear sign that something must be done. If you aspire to a highly satisfying life, you need to change your life's perspective. Is it crippling? Don't worry - change is often frightening.

How to Get Back On Track?

Changing your path in life takes effort and time. There is no quick fix; after all, we are talking about something complex, which is your future . Here is how you should approach this process:

1. Find and Destroy Limiting Beliefs

First, you need to step out of your comfort zone and perceive yourself objectively. Do you have disempowering beliefs that hold you down? If so, think about them, figure out what made you have them in the first place, and identify the reasons why you have adopted them. If you get to the roots, your subconscious will help you do the rest.

How Do You Destroy Your Poisoned Beliefs?

Use your INTENTION and WILLPOWER.

Don't expect them to go immediately - note them down and reflect on them every day. Do that and they'll slowly lose their power.

Here are some common limiting beliefs:

• “Money is/isn’t going to bring me happiness.”
• “I am too old for this/ I’m not too good for this”
• “Nothing else will be better than what I’m doing now”
• “I have nothing special to offer”
• “My parents are more experienced than me, so they know what’s best for me”
• “I've already missed my shot”
• “I could never overcome this/that”
• “I'll never succeed as X person did, why bother?”

2. Assess and Decide What You Want to Keep in Your Life

Even if you are upset about your life right now, you should not ditch everything. First, think about what you do now. There must be some things that are still valuable and essential for your future. Stick to them and improve them each day.

3. Establish New Goals, Plan the Strategy, and Immediately Take Action

If you already have a list of things that must be kept and improved, you now should look for other possibilities. Explore your inner special desires. Every person has its own crazy stuff he/she desires.

Take a piece of paper and let your mind be creative. Get into a childish state where everything is possible, regardless of financial expectations, and start writing.

Give yourself 30 minutes to writing EVERYTHING you want to accomplish in this lifetime. Take your time, and do not get distracted. Do this while you are alone and let your courageous side speak.

Now it is time for you to decide each goal’s priority.

Rate each goal according to your personal preferences (from 1 to 5).

Next, take each goal that is marked with “1” and “2” and decide upon the three most important ones. THESE are your real goals.

The next step is to figure out how to reach them, which requires PLANNING. Fortunately, achieving your most passionate dreams should not represent a huge problem. However, the best way to do it is to break the big goals into small chunks of mini-goals. Focus on each of them, tick them off the list, and keep going until they collectively generate the end result.

Takeaways

Purpose and goals are the most powerful aspects that drive us to take action and to achieve growth.

If our beliefs, hopes, desires, dreams, and goals are programmed or intensively influenced by others - without our permission -, we need to regain the control.

It is not easy, but it is DEFINITELY ACHIEVABLE. It is just a matter of how badly you want to CHANGE. There are so many people start completely new lives after figuring out that the previous ones were not for them.

The only way you can find your true happiness is to define what true happiness means for you. Being alone, quieting your thoughts, and consulting your inner self should become a habit, as it'll allow you to “take a break” and think clearly again.

Every human has four endowments - self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change. - Stephen Covey