"Born to walk against the wind"
A phrase to live by especially if you feel that luck is unjust with you or that life keeps throwing you lemons and you just can't make that many lemonades. I am not a doctor so I don't know if this can help you if you have actual depression. It might though so keep reading.
Hello, once again my name is Tsinik and today I want to help people realize what it takes to feel happy. There are a lot of ways. For starters though I will tell you the story that is me. I was a surprise pregnancy, a welcomed one, but still a surprise. Thankfully my parents loved me even though they didn't plan for me so that actually went well for me. In spite that, I am a bit hyperactive. I was even before getting born. That made for some disgustingly 8 months of pregnancy and on birth I almost died. No, no I wasn't sick, just dumb. I got strangled by the umbilical cord and fainted. So I started of from my first moments in life with upside down luck. That part never changed. Anything that can go wrong will. (I will give you later a lot of cringy examples)
As a baby I didn't even crawl. I was standing on my four limbs like a freaking beast! Even in the first class in elementary school the teacher had to teach me how to sit normally. I used to stand and just have one foot on the chair. To this day, continuous sitting is extremely hard for me. But anyway. I am a man of one complex. I hate all that is unfair. And life is unfair. So imagine a kid with this complex, in this unfair life, for wherever you look someone is being treated unfairly, and having all this energy. That resulted in me crying all the time! I cried when I was wronged and I cried when others were wronged. So I cried and cried. Never ending streams of tears. I also used to be the shortest guy in my class. But that never bothered me since I was smart and didn't care what others said about me.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER ONE OF BEING HAPPY.
"Never care what others say about you, unless it's someone you love or your boss"
I created this slogan since I don't even remember. So back to the crying. I was also always really lazy so I never studied or did my homework thus resulting in me going to the principal's office everyday (Quite the achievement if you ask me). One day when I was in 5th grade my teacher sent me to the principal's office like always but this time I was fed up with this. Why you ask? Because he wasn't a good teacher so it was UNFAIR for only us students to be punished. So I ratted him out to the principal. Next day while we were in science class, a student told me to go see my main teacher because he wanted to talk to me. So I go wondering what they told him. Once I go to him he starts shouting and threatening to hurt me. He threatened me, a 10 year old boy, to step on my neck. So as you can guess I started crying. That same day I had a realization. I told my self "What the fuck are you doing, why are you so weak? That is it, no more crying.". Physically I looked weak but in truth I wasn't. I was athletic since I did martial arts for a few years now so I was actually kind of feared by my co-student. Anyone coming to annoy me I would take down just by grabbing their fingers. Epic right? Anyhow, I said that to my self and I started training my mental strength.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER TWO.
"Understand the problem, decide to change it, understand that it can't be done overnight, never quit trying to improve."
So as I pointed out I didn't stop crying over night. It actually took years. Thankfully I was smart enough to understand how things work. So I kept becoming more and more insensitive. Becoming completely insensitive might sound like a bad thing but if you understand for which things to become insensitive life becomes a lot easier.
Now another thing you should know about me, is that I don't lie. I am always open and I am not afraid to speak my mind. That got me some true friends since all of us shared our true selves with each other.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER THREE.
"Find people you can be completely open with. No one truly wants to be alone. Open up to people with the chance of getting hurt. One day you will find what you are looking for."
We stayed together with this friends for now almost 20 years. Yet I keep making friends like these ones. It is really hard to find people like them but since I am open and I don't get hurt easily I can find them. Next we will go back to the luck element. Lot's of people complain about their luck. And I don't mean luck as in " I was born in Africa with nothing to eat". I mean 1st-world problems luck. It can still ruin your life. I am a really unlucky person. Or as we say in my country, a "cactus". So once again, the rebel that I was, I wouldn't accept this. Yes I constantly complain about my luck but that never stopped me. I understood that this is what happens so I must adjust my actions so that the outcome would be in my favor.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER FOUR.
"Never rely on external powers. Do not rely on Gods or Luck for your own life. Take it in your own hands. Understand the situation and foresee all possible outcomes. Then take actions that would give you the best outcome for the worst case scenario."
Yes I used to be a religious person at that point. Faith is important and it's too bad that I lost mine. That however is another story. So what do I mean with the above rule. I will tell you with a great example. When I order food a lot of the times, my order comes back wrong. So what I do, I go with this in mind and I might chat up the ones making my food so that they will add extra food, thus even though something might get forgotten I will have won something. And honestly this happens more times that I would like to admit. That is how I leveled up my people skills. I forgot ONCE about this factor and let me tell you what happened.
There was this bar I used to hang out at and I really liked the waitress there. One night I calculate the possibilities and measure up my actions so that the night would go like this.
- I would go to the computer and keep playing music and talking to her and the boss like always.
- I would then offer to take her home once she got off.
- The boss would tell her to go with me since he trusts me.
- We would be at her place alone.
And what do you know everything went ACCORDING TO PLAN!
THIS IS RULE NUMBER FIVE
"NOTHING EVER GOES EXACTLY ACCORDING TO PLAN! DEAL WITH IT!"
Yes, that meant I was missing a crucial piece of information. I was so happy that I forgot my rules. So we went to her house and we start kissing. She had to wake up early however so she told me we would continue this another time. Then we got to chatting on facebook and there was I trying to get her to go out with me. She told me we would find some time but that I shouldn't tell her boss cause he would be asking all the time "how are you two doing?" and "is everything ok?". I accepted that so I said nothing. At some point I see that we haven't gone out yet. So I realize she isn't interested. After a year I learn that she was in a relationship with that boss of her. I made out with the girlfriend of someone in the underworld. That was bad. Thankfully he never found out. So if you see your plan going perfectly then try to find what you are missing.
During my life I applied these rules and was doing well. I had friends, people tried to bully me but I didn't care so they had no effect. I had built a thick skin mentally and physically so that nothing could hurt me. Then I kept looking at other people being sad with themselves. So I understood the next rule. It was a rule that I was doing anyway but that was because I have a better understanding of things than most people I meet.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER SIX.
"If you feel sad or angry stop everything that you are doing. Do something else. Something is ruining your mood so stop every action and do other things to feel happy."
I was a person that never got angry. I can understand the situation and act accordingly, resulting in me always having the upper hand in confrontations. I knew which action of mine to stop so that I would stop the harsh feelings that I had. I would decide when it is an ok time to be angry and I would be only at those times. Eventually situations that I saw unfit for anger became so numb that it wasn't me suppressing my feelings anymore but me finding those situations pointless and really not getting angry.
Next rule I can think of is something you hear all the time. You might think that this piece of advice is pointless but it really isn't. Don't give up on me yet. Read until the end.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER SEVEN.
"Be Happy."
Oh yes, I pulled this card. The answer to this, that I see online is, " thank you, how did I not figure it out myself, I am cured!". These kind of people make fun of this without understanding what it means. If you force yourself to smile and be kind to others and always be in the most positive attitude you can wear, at some point due to placebo effects you will start to feel happy. That's just how the brain works. If you feel down, smile! And mean it! Don't just put on a mask. Smile a true one. Believe in that smile and believe that you are happy. Then the brain will believe it and you will be smiling for real. Smile for others and look at the smiles you get back when you tell a cashier "Good morning"," "Please" and "Thank you". All of these will result in your brain believing it's happy. Because that is what everything is. An idea. So make an idea of your own.
Almost to the end, so stick with me here. Another extremely important factor is hobbies. Something so simple. Learn to love the small things in life, love everything about the things you love doing. I love martial arts so I used to do martial arts. In university I didn't have time so I couldn't go. Thankfully the friends I made there got me in the Theater Club. I loved playing in plays since I was in elementary so I've been in a few. There however I found a family. As I said I am a bit hyperactive and that gets quite annoying. Especially since I don't really have limits. There I found a family willing to accept me exactly how I was so I let my self be as free as possible. Instead of scaring them away I drew some people closer to me. That is what got me through the University. No matter the load of work we had I would always be free Wednesday at 6 p.m. for the theater workshop. I even participated in a play. Feeling the stage under my feet felt as awesome as it used to feel.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER EIGHT.
"Learn what you are passionate about and do it. Love everything about it and don't be shy about it. Make it a top priority and never find excuses to miss it!"
The last one is one that I figured out a couple of years ago. I didn't think it was this important but it is. I used to believe that my everything was my friends and I never cared about my self. I thought that I didn't like my self. I thought that for me I was a zero. To this day if I love someone, I love that person more than me. And I believe it is important. However, one night that I was tired I parked my car outside of my house, closed the lights and didn't open the door. I just didn't feel like getting out just yet. I let the music play in the pitch darkness of the night and I enjoyed my own company. It felt liberating. From that night on, I kept doing that every now and then and to this day, each time I feel relaxed.
THIS IS RULE NUMBER NINE.
"Learn to love yourself. Learn to spent time with yourself. Listen to your favorite music and start chatting up yourself. Get to know that person. Only if you love yourself you can truly be happy."
Unfortunately I couldn't think of a 10th rule so now we are at odd numbers. Oh well. Built your thick skin and don't complain. I really hoped this helped you and if you need anything don't hesitate to ask me about anything. Also sent this to anyone you think would find this useful. People need to read this.
I am a person that instead of building walls, I learned to have no walls but be strong enough to overpower anything that comes my way. I might not have been born to walk against the wind but I most definitely was smart enough to make my self powerful enough to walk against the wind by my self.
I AM BORN A LOSER BUT I WILL DIE A WINNER! DEAL WITH IT!