I will tell you the story of my love, but as everything before a happy ending there are circumstances which make you more and more to join that great love, my story begins on February 22, 2009 nine, that day I received the news I had been waiting for that other years ago that day I was alone but it did not take away a bit of joy, I remember very well what Dr. Harry told me there is this, do you see? That bag is this your baby, I felt the best woman in the world, my heart jumped for joy, you have about 8 weeks said the Dr. I remember that I asked crying can you give me an appointment for tomorrow? is that I want my husband to see it, I remember the words of Dr. Herry quiet little and so it was on February 23, 2009 at 2 o'clock in the afternoon we went, I remember that I send my husband as at 10 am to register now I wanted to be the first one I longed to see my little boy again, that day Dr Henry was operating and as I was passing by, I was attended by Ms. Maria Sonographer while the doctor arrived, I remember that I went to bed and began to place the gel and followed by that, passing the ultrasound on my belly, and I only saw that she passed the eco-graph and searched and searched and among me she asked me Who does not know? When is he going to say here? She smiled, an unhappy smile, looked at my husband and said we can talk to her outside, and look at her and with a strong tone I told her anyway I will find out.
She looked at me and with a broken voice told me there is this little bag but you can not see any road signs, I do not know if it was nerves. I started to laugh, and I told her I was going to wait for Dr. to get up and I sat down for hours waiting for him, when he arrived it seemed like he was seen by God, I thought he would tell me what I wanted to hear but it was not like that, it was true I HAD NO LIFE SIGNS. I got up and left without listening to anything else, only leaving inside, the next day they cleaned me and it was then that I realized that everything was true, and my baby was not there.
that story was repeated 2 times more, maybe not exact, change the time, circumstances and the pain was getting bigger ...
my last loss was at the end of 2010 exactly on December 22. I was devastated and had already decided not to have children, and separated from my husband so that he could do his family because he could not do it, no pregnancy happened after 8 weeks, I went to therapy, both marital and spicological, I felt guilty of the death of my 3 children.
In July of 2011 I went to consult, I worked with my husband, and I remember that Dr. Herry told me here, I looked at him and I just thought, I'll have to go through the same thing! at that moment the doctor silences my thoughts and says she is a queen, my eyes watering, tears ran on my face my husband would hold his head and say if my love I see her, it was a girl a beautiful girl of 4 months, knowing that I had already arrived at 4 months (16 weeks) gave me relief, I looked at it for almost an hour, when I got up, my husband took my hand and told me calmly that if she arrived, I do not know if I He said in my face of terror or felt the same as me, in that moment.
my pregnancy was normal on December 22, 2011 was born: sther fairy the last tragic day became one of joy, I remember that day my husband came to record, my face was not normal I wanted to kill him, he knew I was in trouble but did not care, I wanted to record so long awaited day everything came up well until my daughter left my womb and I do not cry, first spanking- no answer, second spanking- no answer. My heart goes down, even when the nurse looks at my husband and says I think he should stop recording, they take my daughter to suck her and my husband tells me with a voice of love and tears in his eyes, talk to him, tell him I breathe, she knows your voice, she plows you she knows that you are her mother!
and that's how I started saying my Queen Sther, my pretty and queen Sther please breathe I know you can do it, precious queen breathes.
Two seconds later my daughter began to cry, to hear that crying was the best thing of my life .. when they placed it on my chest and said everything is fine I realized that everything was worth it. (that she was my daughter and that all those failures were worth it, they taught me to be stronger, and to love her even more than I could love.)
I have not stopped loving and missing my first babies, but I thank God for what I have here today.