I've been feeling rather lost recently - I suppose that's normal for a 24 year old. I wrote in my journal today, and though it won't be the most uplifting post, I'd like to share it...
"What would make me happy? Do I really want happiness? Is it a lost cause? If so, what is it that I should be searching for? Fulfillment? Excitement? Adventure? What if everyone on this planet seeking happiness is looking for the wrong thing? I do feel sadness but I don't think that's what's wrong. There is beauty in sadness. Emptiness? Not so much. Boredom? Definitely not. So, maybe I should forget about happiness. If the opposite of emptiness is fulfillment and the opposite of boredom is excitement, then maybe those are what I should focus on. So, if I take my initial question and change it to 'what would make me fulfilled?' will I start to get the answers I really need? Or is it just another dead end? But then really, what would make me fulfilled?"
I promise I'm not trying to be a downer or an attention seeker but I feel that asking better questions may help me come up with some better answers. It also feels great to get this down in writing and to get it out there.
I actually ended my journal with this:
"I can't really think of any answers. But then, maybe thinking is part of the problem. Perhaps, it's my head that's causing all this and my head is unable to fix it. Is it possible that the answer could be found through my body?"
I've been reading and researching about bioenergetics and dynamic meditation. Basically the idea of getting out of your head and into your body. Maybe the answers are there? I've just signed up for Elliott Hulse's Grounding Camp too, which takes you through these things (anyone else on steemit going?!) and I'm super excited to find out what it's all about!
I know I'm not the only one feeling down or lost so I'd like to share this song with anyone else who's feeling the same way:
I'd love to hear your comments. Thanks everyone!
Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.