This is part of my "Find Myself Project." For as long as I need to, I will be interviewing myself. Asking myself really important questions to get to know myself better. So I can understand what I really want in life sooner than later. I will be traveling alone for my 21st birthday. I don't know where I'm going yet or what I'm going to be doing. If I can afford it I will travel for two weeks or more but if not I will settle with one week. I want to go to a small peaceful town with art and science museums. I want to visit an aquarium and an observatory. I want to stargaze on top a mountain and do yoga on the beach. I want do a burlesque photoshoot and take a pole dancing class just because I can.
I found these questions by googling "questions to ask yourself to get to know yourself." I would like to hurry up and know myself but I know I need to take it slow.
- Your doctor calls. She informs you that you’ll be dead in six months. How does that change your life? How would you spend your remaining time on earth? I would definitely finish writing my time travel novel and publish it. If that’s the only thing I accomplish in life I wouldn’t mind at all. I would also like to visit Japan. All of Japan. With my boyfriend of course. Then for my last week I would spend it thanking my parents and family for giving me a wonderful life.
- You’ve just inherited $100,000,000. Now that money is no longer an issue, what do you do with your life? Bonus: how can you start doing that – even just a bit – today? First, pay off my debts. Second, Pay off my parent’s debts if they would want me to. Third, build the tiny house of my dreams. Fourth, buy land to park my tiny house with enough space for 20 other tiny houses. With a community garden and natural freshwater pool. I can start paying off my debt now. It will be hard but I have been working on it. Little buy little. And I have started designing my tiny house. I'm still figuring out what I
wantneed in it. - Are you happy? If not, what do you think you need to be happy? I’m not happy with all aspects of my life. I need my own place and a career that I know I love. I don’t know what that is yet. I’m trying to figure it out. I am grateful for everything I have however. I'm grateful for my parents; their guidance, love, patience, acceptance and the times we spent together. I'm grateful for my boyfriend; his love, patience, advice and the times we spend together. I'm grateful for everyone that has ever taught me something; teachers, strangers, family, friends, employers and coworkers. Thinking about all those people that made me, me, makes me very happy.
- What lies have you been telling other people? What lies have you been telling yourself? Why? I keep telling myself that I'm not good enough. I am enough. I don't have to be enough for someone else. I just have to be enough for myself.
- What would your perfect day look like? I wake up before the sunrise and do yoga on the beach. I make some breakfast for my boyfriend and me. Then I get shit done. I make some art and sell some art. I work on my writing. A day where I’m actually productive would be nice. A day where I write, paint, sell my art and make a stranger happy. Then I wind down by playing some video games and watching some anime.
- What do you hope people say about you at your funeral? I honestly don't care what people say about me when I'm gone. I want to be satisfied with my life and my accomplishments. Is that a bad thing? Should I want people to say specific thing about me at my funeral?
- What’s missing from your life? What can you do to get it? My freedom and discipline. I need to make a to-do list and stick to it. I need to set time to write and make art. I need to track my productivity. Focus on one task at a time. And Get Shit Done.
- Have you ever felt fully loved by yourself or someone else? If the answer is no, what would it take for you to feel loved? Is something inside of you blocking that? I have never loved myself. I know I’m loved by my family and boyfriend. There are days where I love what I see in the mirror. And there are days where I can see every little flaw and hate myself. There are days where I’m proud of what I’ve done. And there are days where I’m mad at myself for not doing what I was supposed to do. I’m not sure if there is something inside me that’s blocking me from loving myself. But I do know that I pay too much attention to how others may think of me.
- In what areas of your life are you underestimating yourself? My art. I’m always saying my art isn’t good because I didn’t go to art school. I don’t have to go to art school. There are lots of resources online where I can learn to sharpen my art skills. I just need to know where to look and learn what works for me. And actually paint something every day.
- What gifts, talents or passions have you been hiding from yourself and the world? What can you do to start engaging them more often? Well, I can’t say my art and writing. I’ve been posting my art and writing all over the interwebs. I haven’t been sharing my love for science and astrophysics much. I love learning about how the universe works. I would love to be a cosmologist or astrophysicists. I’m not good at math, though. I can start by getting to know more people who are also into astrophysics and cosmology I guess. Maybe visit some colleges and talk to people in those fields.
- In what areas of your life are you out of integrity? How can you fix that? I’m not sure. I’m an honest person. Honest with myself and others. Mostly just tell little white lies to avoid hurting people. I'd rather not fix that because I don't want to hurt people. But I understand some people need brutal honesty.