This project is focused on social constructs and stereotypes;
questioning how it affect us as individuals on a psychological and emotional level.
The subjects offer their experiences, introspections and speculations.
Where do you fit in the “system of standards”?
“I don't feel I fit those roles, and sometimes it's difficult to go outside of said roles because of how an older generation may react. You feel pressured to act in a certain way that may not be natural but you are in some ways forced to adapt to society's gender roles.”
-Matt
I feel like we are living in an environment where having any gainful employment whatsoever will make us privileged by default. It's a classification I personally try to avoid, but I observe it every day. When someone has money, or is attractive, they also observe that people treat them better than others. I think people should judge others based on how they treat people, not material possessions or looks.
I think my classification, if any, would be quite unique. I have a good job and I dabble in the tech industry, but I don't have a nice house or a fancy car to show for it. People tend to designate classifications on first impressions in my experience. I often observe people go into debt to gather their nice possessions, presumably to improve first impressions and change that classification.
-Tony
In the system of standards, I feel like I'm able to fit if I want to, but I usually don't want to. If I want to straighten my hair and keep it a natural color and put on makeup and feminine clothes I fit well. I've made a personal choice that that's not who I am so most of the time i don't fit because I have decided not to shave, to dye my hair unconventional colours and cut it short, and sometimes wear masculine clothes. I'm also loud at times. I smoke cigarettes. I'm not necessarily lady like.
-Kay
The pretty exotic girl who is a tomboy. Where's I'm Jessi and sometimes like being not pretty and sometimes I like being pretty but wear boy clothes. People tend to want me as a submissive or supportive role no matter the place or element. A work mule if you will. Mule the operative word given my mixed identity crisis.
-Jessi
What are some toxic behaviors that uphold that system?
Personally I see part of the issue is the media. It's so cliché, but we follow the media more than we realize. I'm on Instagram and Pinterest all day comparing myself to these girls with "friends" and perfect bodies. When in actuality it took them years to get those bodies or surgeries to get those bodies and those "friends" are just people in their pictures with them. There's always a backstory to the photo or blog or status that's posted and I constantly forget that.
-Morgan
Say you're in a car with a guy and he is ogling a woman walking down the road. Saying all the things he would do to her. You feel like you should chime in and agree, or go into detail yourself because there is societal pressure to act that way. Or not wanting to speak about emotions that everyone has, or sensitive things because men are men and we don't do that. It's not true, and everyone has the same feelings, but we are forced to push them aside and be strong even though you may not want to be, or can't. Or the thought that men can't be raped; if you were raped at a party by some drunk woman and you told the police or something you would most likely be laughed out of the station. Things like that are what is wrong from a man's perspective today in society. I feel as if the gender roles are changing. Women can work and men can be stay at home dads. It still may be heavily frowned upon in some circles, but I do see a change coming through thanks to the internet and people like you asking important questions. For such a long time men had to be a strong provider for the family and women had one path in life- to be a housewife and cook/clean. These roles are beginning to change and I really believe it is a change that is so much better for society. People won't be forced into situations they don't feel they belong in anymore.
-Matt
Some of the most egregious examples of toxic behaviors are anti-intellectualism, male pride and spendthrift. By themselves, looked at objectively, it's something that needs to be corrected. But the big problem is that all of these behaviors are socially acceptable, and often encouraged.
-Tony
Hypersexuality, archaism, religion, suppressed natural behaviour that deviate into a negative as a result.
-Jessi
Toxic behaviors that uphold the system are stereotyping. "Men don't cry." "Men don't feel." "Women are emotional." "Women lie and are manipulative." "Gay men are the only men that cry." "Lesbian women are manly." "Bisexual people are sluts." Etc etc. Basically those blanket statements that seem to be thrown around everyday, and it makes hard for people to decided who they actually want to be, vs. what society expects of them.
-Kay
Have you ever felt disadvantaged or discriminated?
I've been called a whore for my curves, and a nigger for my skin and also yellow nigga by darker skin kin for being light so I was stuck in the middle.
-Jessi
When someone has criminal history (I do), they are looked down on by default. It's actually quite vicious in my experience.
-Tony
Yes, I have a mental disorder and I am queer I experience a lot of disadvantages because of this. I was declined promotion because of my mental disorder before I was diagnosed, so I couldn't legally do anything about it. I haven't come out to my parents because of fear of rejection and harassment.
-RW
In what ways has this affected your life?
I haven't been able to progress how I want and when I do it's quickly attacked. I have to hustle with the realm of sex sells. I don't get taken seriously a lot.
-Jessi
It's affected my life in a way that makes me feel like I'm in a limbo of what people expect of me, as if I'm letting others down by making my own choices with my body and myself.
-Kay
I am constantly comparing myself to everyone else my age. But that leads me to having unrealistic expectations for myself physically, mentally, and socially.
-Morgan
I've had company in the past that would single me out and pick on me using whatever justification they could think of, despite me being the nicer, more successful person in the friendship. I later realized it was because their low self esteem made them want to put others down, to level things out. Obviously it's more complex than that and varies case-by-case, but I believe that was a constant element in all of them.
-Tony
The most it has affected my life constantly being put down for being a woman. The expectations of what it means to be a woman. I also have a lot of issues with harassment from the opposite sex. I have been stalked, sent sexual photos without my consent, harassed on the street, stalked online, and almost kidnapped. For the most part no one knows I am not straight so it doesn't affect my life, except for hiding it from my family.
-RW
Closing Message
I’d like to end this article on a positive note.
Instead of focusing and criticizing our differences, we need more empathy and appreciation.
We should celebrate diversity and empower one another.
How do you define empowerment?
The feeling and ability to be, do, see, say however that may be without the slightest thought of what someone thinks. It’s even more empowering when it creates positive contagion in your wake.
-Jessi