My voice seems to be lost these days.
It hasn’t been once but twice already that I’ve written something out anger or despair only to stop myself midway. Why have I stopped? Because it isn’t fair for me to spread these feelings. Everyone around me is experiencing their own hardships and I don’t want to become a burden. Instead I’ve been hanging onto my words and they’re being stored in my own private journal. Will they ever see the light of day? Who knows.
Bottling up my feelings has had a negative effect on my relationships. I’d like to pretend that I’m great at concealing my feelings but I’m actually really sensitive so it’s hard. I’ve been told that I’m acting ‘moody’ ....I fucking hate that. Sometimes I get a little dramatic when I’m being called out for my behavior. I start thumping around like an angry bunny. I suck at apologizing because I’m stubborn. It can be frustrating, even for me but it eventually sorts itself out. I have been lashing out since I’m not able to fully express myself. So far the solution is to immerse myself in the things I enjoy and to express myself in other art forms. Maybe that’s the reason why I’ve circled back to photography.
I got a few great shots from today’s shoot. I don’t know how it is for everyone else but I never know how long my photo sessions will be. Sometimes they’ll last hours and other times they’re over in an instant. It all depends on my mood. If I feel like I’m done then I won’t push it and I’ll immediately pack things up. It’s very similar to how it is when I’m working on set with 
These are the types of photos I enjoyed taking as reference material for future drawings. I like how the shadow in the image appears to be leaving or suddenly embracing me.