I didn’t have a handy photo of myself at 16, but here’s one from 2008 and one from 3 months ago. Actually it’s a different coat, but apparently my fondness for red hasn’t changed.
Change of place
That younger version of me grew up in a pleasant suburb of Birmingham. In case y'all are only familiar with the Alabama version, Birmingham is the second-biggest UK city, after London, and is known for its industrial heritage, ethnic diversity and the dumbest accent in the British isles.
Brummies (as people from Birmingham are called) get a lot of stick, but actually the city was a wonderful place to grow up as a middle-class, home-educated bookworm. At that age, I remember stating how much I loved the city and how I could see myself ever leaving. Perhaps it was tempting fate to say such a thing?
These days I live in a completely different country. In fact, all of my close family members have moved away from Birmingham - and most of them away from the UK altogether. Accordingly, I have no plans to go back to either place.
Aside from the absence of roots, I’ve lived abroad long enough that I simply do not identify as a Brit any longer. Whether intentionally or not, I’ve become an ex-pat and therefore doomed myself to (or perhaps blessed myself with?) a life spent as an outsider, not quite fitting in anywhere.
Yet looking back, I remember feeling happy and content living in Brum. It’s amazing to consider how my feelings underwent a complete change.
Change of tastes
Aside from my views and ambitions, I’ve found that growing older has resulted in significant changes in my tastes and interests too.
One of the really cool things about spending my teenage years in Brum was the weath of cultural opportunities open to young people. I was in acting groups, choirs, dance performances and of course, at that time there was my beloved synchronised swimming.
I also had a mild obsession with musical theatre, encouraged by the local theatres’ willingnes to offer hugely-discounted tickets for students. With the city boasting 5-6 theatres, a world-class concert hall and numerous smaller venures there was ample scope for a young appreciator like me. I went to the theatre on an average of twice a week - some weeks going out almost every night.
Conversely these days I go to the theatre much more rarely. It makes a difference being in a country where I have an imperfect grasp of the language, but it’s also that my priorities have changed. In particular my attitude towards musical theatre which I find hard to take seriously any longer. How did I go from being passionately in love with the genre to being unable to stomach such surreality?
Language base
Another example of a complete change of attitude is in my feelings towards languages. I have to admit to being utterly uninterested in language learning as a child and later as a teenager.
It sort of went hand-in-hand with the conviction that I was never going to leave Birmingham. Despite my mother’s best efforts to interest me in French or Italian, I never got very far with either. It seemed like a waste of time to learn a lot of difficult grammar when I had no plans to go to either of those countries.
The change came after I completed my first year at uni. I'd developed close friendships with a couple of German students and that definitely played a role. But the real push was when I signed up for a year of exchange studies in German-speaking Austria.
Suddenly, learning a language became an interesting and relevant goal. I was motivated because it was a skill that I would definitely need within the near future. Studying - and later living - abroad has only strengthened my connection with language learning. To the extent that I now class myself as a language nerd. Quite a useful badge for a writer, I must say.
Another face
And while we’re on the subject of writing, there’s another thing that’s changed. From the moment I learned to read, I’ve been a bookworm, constantly burying my nose in the pages (or more recently, the screen) of stories galore.
I hasten to add that my attitude towards reading hasn’t changed at all. It’s still my favourite hobby and one of my dearest comforts. However, since starting along this path towards writing, I've noticed that the time I spend reading has lessened dramatically.
Guess it’s a natural effect of exploring a new interest, old pastimes get less attention. But amazingly I wouldn’t say that I really miss reading that much. I still get the effects of imagination and escapism, but now, the stories that I lose myself in are my own. It’s like a different side of the same coin.
Paradise?
I guess our attitudes and tastes change as a result of necessity and exposure. I’ve always been a novelty junkie, obsessed with trying out new things and collecting new experiences. It stands to reason that so much fresh input would have an effect on my perspectives over the years.
There’s just one drawback… I tend to feel wary about settling down or investing in long-term projects because my attitudes have changed so much over the years and now I worry that I don’t know how I’ll feel about things in the future. Maybe it’s made me shy of commitment?
Anyone got insight to share on that topic? Or any interesting examples of how their tastes or attitudes towards something changed as they got older?