“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
: Benjamin Franklin
As I clicked this Spotted Owlet with my Nikon P900, I was wondering what the owl was looking for. Since it was daylight and early morning, the owl must have been well fed after it's hunting session at night. So, perhaps it was looking for a '(S)owl mate!
Whether Owls are choosing their soul mates or we, the humans are, there are some aspects to be considered for choosing soul mates and after marrying them. Owls choose their mate for life and do their best to carry the relationship through their life. They choose their companions carefully. For that matter, irrespective of whether the companion is chosen for a breeding cycle or as life time mate, most of the animals choose their companions with a lot of thought, observation and hardwork.
For humans, the need for compatibility is based on more than mere physical aspects. Therefore, even more care should be exercised for choosing long term companions. Here is the gist I have gleaned about what to look for, from my own (ongoing) stint and observing a host of other couples:
What should we see with our eyes wide open? The cliche answer is 'Look for inner beauty'. While we all do know that this does not mean taking off clothes and looking at inner-wear (however exciting that may sound!), it is likely that many of us would not be able to articulate exactly what does that mean. While the ubiquitous 'I am in LOVE' feeling overrides a lot of rational thinking, in my opinion, at least the following points need to be pondered upon:
- Good Character: A person who is shady in their dealing with small aspects in life is often not dependable
- Emotionally balanced: More often than not, a person who is easily excitable, gets irritated easily or has a gloomy disposition, may not be a great long term companion
- Willingness to share responsibility: Marriage or a long term relationship means a lot of tasks and responsibilities
- Do you feel a bond and want the person as he/she is: There are not many 'exchanges' possible in the Super maket of Life. It is not very conducive to a healthy relationship if one partner tries to 'mold' the other partner all the time.
With me so far?
Great. So we found a 'Soulmate' and married the person. Then what?
Why should we keep eyes half closed? This is what I believe we should do with the half open/ half closed eyes.
With half OPEN portion of the eyes -
- See the good qualities of your companion.
- Notice the things that your companion does to bring you joy.
- Enjoy those small joys of life and celebrate them
- Keep vigil for things that may trouble your companion and fight to ward them off
With half CLOSED portion of the eyes -
- Do not see the small aberrations in your companions behavior or mannerisms that have no long term effect
- Do not see the minor issues caused by your companions friends or relatives
- Do not see anything other than the inner beauty in your companion
Obviously, no article such as this one, or a 'magic formula' or a few 'How To Live Happily Ever After' kind of books will teach us exactly how a relationship functions. It is something that we have to experience. Hopefully, we will all make the most of it! Please share your views in comments and discuss freely. Thanks.
