I need a change and im stuck. This pain has dragged me down to hell. Ive done so mamy therapies, so many doctors and was a major health nut.
I finally caved to alcohol seeing its the 1 thing that helped cut the edge. Not even major pain killers etc touch my unbearable pain.
My daily routine consist of...
*wake up w major middle back pain around 5am.
*puke up last nights dinner amd back pain subsides.
*finally found xanax really helps my, head pressure, eye pressure, negative mind, muscle tensions amd neck pain. Take 1/4 xanax.
*cant drink coffee, it agitates the F out of my pain. So i now drink 3 diet sodas after xany.
*drink 4 teaspoons kratom, eases whole body.
*drink lots of water w fresh lemon.
*Sit in my chair and barely move.
*smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day.
*mediate throughout the whole day.
- 2 svaroopa yoga poses at least once a day.
*very light stretching, my body is so tight.
*lots of thinking, ideas, and crypto trading.
*finally beer time and drink 12pack a day. The happiest part of my whole day.
*act as normal as possible when dealing w friends, family or anyone.
*beer almost gone and ready for my 1 and only meal of the day (last night it was spinach soup and i even puked that up). Xanax helped the puking stop for about 1 week put now started again.
*head feeling better from pill but overall down and unhealthy and overweight.
*Barely leave my house accept maybe for beer n cigs.
Go to bed and do it all over again.
Ive done so many things trying to improve my health and about 3 years ago i just gave up fighting so hard. Im hanging by a thread.
Sure i can see some things to fix. Ex stop beer n cigs, the only enjoyment im getting. Plus its not easy especially when the payoff is almost non existent. Ive quit for years before and pain pain still pain.
So im stuck w my unhealthy hermit life for now.
Me 3 years ago in amazing health even w the pain. I got under 10% bodyfat so little on the skinny side imo....
