The pain is like taking some heavy drug and never returning to sober. I barely remember " normal" these days. So full of life I was. It still hasnt died but the pain has covered the light. Imagine tripping on acid and never coming off. Some would say awsome, if they do, then they dont understand. Imagine your worst sick day and you never get better.
My friend and realotr recently asked if we would like to do a bbq sometime soon ( a double date). They know I am sick but treat me like a healthy person ( i dont look sick). I have been avoiding the bbq and now I feel guilty because they dont understand. Its not that i dont want to or dont like them, i would even have some fun. Now they think i dont like them and I feel so bad about it.
These little things happen to me daily...