Wtf am i suppose to do? I suffer 24 hours a day. Sometimes worse than others. Thanksgiving i was sick as all hell and forced myself to go see family.
Im fucking hurting and im getting no love, no compassion, no help. Not from regular people, not from spiritual people, not from no one.
I had a good time at family gathering inspite of pain. It was better than expected. But still little nuances.
Now today i forced myself again to go to wifes family house. Overall i had a good time but some shit just pissed me the fuck off. These people barely know im suffering. They think im not around so much cuz im a dickhead. I just fucking hate it.
Have you ever felt like a car was parked on your brain? I do that daily! How come no one understands? How come no one cares?
What should i correct my posture or change my diet? Then relief will come? Ive done it.
I miss being myself and i am getting more angry as time goes on. Fucking infuriated! Fucking pissed!
What the fuck am i suppose to do?
And now im having friends and family join steemit. What, i shouldnt write my diaries any longer? If they saw what i write i may have even less support.
Without my son, I would blow my brains out! Im just fucking sick of it.
