When it comes to showing love many relate to the act of speaking "I love you", but the demonstrations of affection go beyond, say you love is only a form of expression and for many it is not an easy situation. On the day we have several opportunities to express our feelings, but often avoided for fear of the reaction of the other or because of our self-criticism.
There are many misunderstandings time to express affection; the first one is what one believes about a demonstration of self-love, this understanding can vary greatly from person to person and many do not realize these differences. Some interpret that show love is to say "I love you", others believe that it is buying a gift, others think it's making dinner or helping with the practical difficulties of the day, etc. All these behaviors demonstrate affection and consideration, and none is more important and valuable than the other. We tend to think that our idea of love is the most valuable and we hope that the other understands it and recognize it.
Thinking this way leads to conflict situations in our relations. When we show love and we look at the statement of another through only from our perspective, we do not open ourselves to the relationship truly. For some say that love is enough, while for others does not mean much, better attitude. Why is this so important to look at the person observing it is different, has a different story, it came from a context and a different education, as important as ours. This aids in our interpretation, broadens our perception and understanding of the differences in our relations.
Fear, self-criticism and accommodation.
Another situation that prevents the demonstration of love is fear of the other's reaction. Even couples who live together for a long time and love each other, avoid expressing feelings for partner's reaction of fear. Of course the reaction of those we love interests and influence in the relationship, but the demonstration of self-love should talk more about who does what on the recipient must meet the desires of those who have the attitude, that is, if I want to demonstrate I love I do because I want only for that. The beloved of the reaction is important, but should not be the main reason, because even though I feel sad because the other did not react the way I imagined, to have this attitude was my choice, even with the risks involved, attended before everything myself.
Self-criticism is also an obstacle. Many people do not allow themselves to have a more loving attitude in their relationships because they are already so used to a certain posture that admit not change. Can also be accommodated, it is common to think couples "have been together for so long that it is obvious that love in" justifying the lack of affection on a daily basis. What is not realized is that fail to show love, gradually going away from the couple and making the everyday routine and distant relationship.
How to change?
Knowing show affection brings many benefits for life. Make the most joyful daily life, strengthen our relationships and so we become more prepared to deal with everyday problems, because we can count on a support network closer and more cohesive.
If you want to have one day more loving day, you can start taking some actions:
Note another. What is valuable to him? A dinner? A company to go to the movies? A declaration of love? Get out of common sense and your perspective, discover what is meaningful to the person you love.
For friends and family, become more present. Call, invite to go out, ask what one finds in such a situation, turn the other to participate in your life. This in itself is a great demonstration of affection and conveys the idea that either the other closer to you.
Take the attitude you do because you will, that's enough.
Continue, insist. When we changed suddenly behavior is natural that the other be surprised and be trying to understand what this new attitude, so it is important to continue demonstrating until it becomes a natural day to day.
Requite, praise. When someone does something for you, repay, say like this may seem obvious, but many people do not return to the other how he felt and not do something in return. Having this recognition attitude and approach stimulates new statements.