For the longest time, I aspired to be a morning person but never knew how to do it, especially with a messed up biological clock like mine.
Usually I would sleep around 5 AM and wake up in the afternoon. But lately, my habit went from bad to ridiculous; it got to the point where I would sleep at 11 AM (yes, sleep) and get up at 6:30 PM (not wake up; get up, because my parents made me).
Three days ago (the same day I posted the story about my first endoscopy, I had spent the entire night sitting in front of my laptop screen, browsing articles, watching Youtube videos, playing backgammon, etc. My blinds were closed, so I didn't see sunlight until I finally stepped out of my frickin' room around 11:30 AM, to make me some tea.
As I was waiting for the kettle to work its magic, I opened the windows around the house to get some fresh air. And with that air entered the sounds of kids playing, birds singing, cars driving by and the bark of someone's doggo. There were beautiful things going on out there.
So I made my tea and walked around the house while sipping on my cup. And I thought, "Wow, today's a nice day. I may be tired as hell, but it feels good to be awake right now."
Then I walked back in front of my room (where the blinds were still closed) and just stood there, staring inside. I was stricken by how pitch black and lifeless it was. Was that really where I wasted my days? I imagined myself still in bed and sleeping for the next 7 hours or so, while the sun was shining and others were outside being active, enjoying the summer and living their lives.
What was I doing...
Now, ever since this wake-up call, when the clock strikes 9:30 PM and I'm tempted to stay up because I'm "not tired yet," the image of my dark room amid the bright daylight where people are having fun comes to mind.
So I get ready to sleep no matter what and race to bed, to wake up at 6:30 AM and seize the day!