The questions of maturity and immaturity have a lot of myth. People do not admit that they are installed in a single box, or that they are awarded a single label. Each one of us is a crucible in which different forms of consciousness are intermingled. We are ignorant and wise, children and the elderly, childish and conscientious. All at the same time, although depending on the moment some feature stands out more than the rest.
Emotional immaturity could be defined as a condition in which people have not given up the desires or fantasies of childhood. Wishes and fantasies that have to do with the world revolving around itself, or that reality be bent depending on what they want. Likewise, emotional maturity could be defined as a state of strength and temperance that leads to realistic and balanced actions.
More than by an abstract definition, maturity or immaturity is shown through behavioral traits. Next we make a list of five characteristics that are typical of emotionally immature people.
People who are self-centered
A good part of the maturation process in people is to understand that the world does not revolve around them. The baby does not know. Therefore, he asks for food at 2 in the morning and does not care if this affects his parents' sleep. As it grows, it learns to recognize that you do not always get everything you want, and that other people and your needs also inhabit the universe.
Maturing means getting out of the prison of the self. It means losing that illusion that surrounds the life of the baby: it is enough to ask for a need or a desire to be satisfied. When little by little we renounce that fantasy, we also become aware of a beautiful possibility: the adventure of exploring the universe of others. If everything goes well, we learn to preserve the self and reach the you.
Difficulty in assuming commitments
An unequivocal sign of immaturity in people is the difficulty to assume commitments. It costs the child to give up what he wants at that moment to achieve a greater long-term goal. If we give him a treat and we promise him that if he does not eat it for a while we will give him another, the desire to eat the one he has in his hand will prevail.
With the maturation process it is understood that sacrifices and restrictions are necessary to achieve achievements. And that committing to an objective, or to a person, is not a limitation of freedom, but a condition to project better and in the longer term.
Tendency to blame others
Children assume themselves as beings directed by others, who do not act at will. To a large extent they are, while they are in a process of formation and insertion in the culture. While they are small, they believe that error should lead to guilt. They do not care so much about the damage they did, but the punishment or sanction that they can impose on them.
To grow is to get out of that state of sweet irresponsibility. To mature is to understand that we are the only ones responsible for what we do or do not do. Learn to recognize mistakes and get new learning from them. Know how to repair the damages. Knowing how to ask for forgiveness.
Establish dependency ties
For immature people, others are a means and not an end in themselves. Thus, as means that are, in their view, they need them. They do not need others because they want them, but they want them because they need them. Hence, they tend to build bonds in which there are strong dependencies.
In order to establish links based on freedom, there must be autonomy. However, immature people are not clear about the concept of autonomy. Sometimes they think that doing their will is an autonomous behavior. But when it comes to assuming the consequences of acts, they need others to cushion, conceal or lighten the responsibility.
Irresponsibility in the handling of money
Impulsivity is one of the most salient features of immature people. An impulsivity that is expressed many times in the way they have to manage their resources, such as money. So, in order to satisfy their desires, and to satisfy them already, they have no problem in buying what they do not need with the money they do not have.
Sometimes they embark on crazy financial adventures. They do not objectively evaluate investments and find it difficult to project themselves in the medium and long term. That is why they frequently live in debt, all for satisfying whims.
