The psychological space is a dimension that we neglect frequently. It is that point of inflection that we must give ourselves to integrate certain experiences, learn from them and endow ourselves with a resilient attitude.

he psychological space is a waiting room, a mental palace where we can go to reflect , heal ourselves and take new perspectives. It is that point of inflection by which we must all walk after living a failure, a disappointment, an error. Thus, allowing us a time of adequate introspection is more than adequate to establish the foundations of resilience and then move forward with greater security.

Carl Jung said in his day that those who do not learn anything from the unpleasant events of their lives, force the cosmic consciousness to reproduce them as many times as necessary to learn. While it is true that at the moment we can not prove that there is or not that "cosmic force" what we do know is that we are that curious species that stumbles on the same stone over and over again .

If we do it, it is precisely because we do not give ourselves a psychological space . We do not know or we do not allow ourselves that much-needed time to process and integrate certain personal experiences. Life tends to fragment from time to time and we, far from repairing those cracks or re-fitting those loose pieces, let them pass. Little by little we are increasingly disconnected from these internal needs until suddenly frustration and unhappiness weigh too much.

What is and what is in the psychological space

The psychological space is not a physical place, it is a mental corner . It is that time that we give ourselves to process failures, mistakes or disappointments and understand what we can learn or make clear of those experiences. It also implies being able to give shape to a series of dimensions with which to enable our psychological healing room to be highly effective.

These are the inhabitants that make up all good psychological space:

Self-pity

Self-pity is the ability to receive and accept ourselves without punishing or despising us for certain events that have taken place. Thus, studies like the one carried out at the University of Tennessee, for example, reveal that developing this capacity is the key to gaining emotional well-being. However, the more stress we experience, the more we forget this positive attitude towards ourselves.

All psychological space, therefore, requires this special nutrient, where we can embrace without judgments or sanctions.

Negative dialogue is prohibited

In every growth-oriented psychological space, there is one element that can not be accommodated: negative dialogue. That rumor where our thoughts oscillate only in the reproach, the fatality, the impediment, the lack and the fear , acts little by little with the force of a cyclone. Everything sweeps and everything takes it.

If we really want to get a valid learning of a failure, we will not be worth the negative dialogue. We must apply an objective and forward-looking approach . Thus, there are certain questions that could help us, such as: what conclusions can I draw from what happened? What should I do so that tomorrow will face this with better resources and with success?

A focus on the present

The laws of physics tell us (for the moment) that we can not be in two places at once. There is no point in being focused on the past and a future that we still do not know anything about. If we really want to overcome these complex circumstances of the day, only one approach is worth: the focus on the present .

Reflect, analyze, reel, accept, decide, plan, design an answer ... All these answers will be more valid than placing the look in our mirror.

Resilient attitude

In our psychological space there must be a basic material, a type of alloy with which to cover every fragment, every corner, every detail. We speak how not, of resilience .

This capacity to learn from the experience and to face tomorrow with greater integrity, wisdom and strength is a key aspect in every process of inner healing . It is also that masterpiece that attacks personal growth and that adjusts our glasses so that the look clearly sees which path is better to take from now on.

when we experience stress, anguish, fear or worry, our body is programmed to generate two types of responses: fight or flee from danger.

As we know, in our current world these two behaviors do not always have a place. We are therefore obliged to generate more apt and also more creative responses . It is not good, therefore, to escape, to turn our faces to the problem or to fight against enemies, which, as we well know, in many cases are not even physical. Most of our threats are mental.

We must give form to more valid strategies, which all pass through a very specific place: our psychological space. That corner of free access that we often neglect. Where to find shelter whenever we need to integrate experiences, heal, repair and make valuable decisions.