Sometimes it's just as simple as 'doing the math'. Reading the situation effectively. It starts and ends with our own script that we doctor.
We have the ability to learn, grow, adapt and mature. It's a 24/7 process of sorts. It's a matter of communication. Recognizing where we are within ourselves here. It's like we're always within our own holding container, and it's a matter of expanding our reach. Giving ourselves permission to expand our outlook.
This has been my experience of sorts.
Life being a sort of ongoing work in progress. Sometimes I'm hard on myself and other times I probably should be a little bit harder with myself.
It's too easy to talk.
When it's too easy to talk, it's time to take a good close look at the talking you've been doing. It's time to take a good close look at where the weakness and instability exists. It's in fine tuning our own discrepancies that is part of the daily play. Self-improvement being the new moves we integrate as new patterns we can repeat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have moments where I talk myself out of following through with a planned play.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how subtle I can be in crafting a strategy to control and influence my direction. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how clever I've been at times in talking myself out of actually challenging myself to expand my reach within new pursuits.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning my own words to myself to such an extent that I actually took myself serious enough to regard the shit I just said to myself as being, "questionable".
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push under the rug my utmost potential. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a sort of chore of a journey...like this burden almost in challenging myself to live my utmost potential. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've become defiant and resistant towards creating instructions and following my own instructions. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a momentary flicker of feeling/emotion in a moment to steer and influence my ability to create effective and efficient plans for myself.
I realize I've been a bit slack about really pushing myself to actually do all the things for myself I think are cool. I realize it's kind of been a conditioned response to living in a sort of survival mentality...where it's customary to have this sort of restraint and self-censorship...discounting the potential before even giving the potential a shot...a chance to grow and develop here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've existed in a sort of conditioned way of 'survival mentality'. I realize it's not about a 'survival mentality' being good or bad per se. It's about myself and who and how I am here. It's about my participations and recognizing my abilities to participate and recognizing the struggles and challenges I face within my participations.
I realize sometimes I don't like writing when the focus is on bits of myself that are kind of uncomfortable. I do however realize this is my gold. This is the shit that I can really work with to strengthen myself.
Solution oriented focus and Commitment
I commit myself to understanding and really getting to know the scope of my survival systems that are intact...the things I've been utilizing to survive in this world. I realize that I have become quite proficient in my survival abilities. I realize that by tuning inward a bit more that there's potential for some refinement. I realize in playing with refinement I can become more effective and efficient in my creative ability. I realize that much of what I've learned within survival mentalities can be expanded upon from survival to 'thriving lifestyle'...that I can pretty much let go of "trying to survive" and actually expand my outlook into becoming more specific with what it means to "thrive" and how to practically live a "thriving lifestyle".
What comes up about "thriving lifestyle" is the "follow through". It's creating plans for myself as instructions to follow....like my own sort of science experiments where I am the subject and my plan is in playing the hypothesis out as the exploration I am engaging and testing. This is a way for me to better process my participations and engagements. I see that I am able to expand my concentration and focus. I can actually challenge and change really subtle points. I am capable and able to actively experiment with these subtle points of change. The cool thing about self-experimentation and investigation is that we can create the opportunity and the moment wherever we are.
I commit myself to really utilizing myself as my canvas and story. Where it's a point of identification in me to be clear about what is coming up within myself. In this regard I am processing my environment as a starting point of simply reading here.
I commit myself - tuning into myself as a point of reading. I realize I've only ever selectively read into my conditioned behavior patterns. I've simply not been completely in tune with the scope of my movements.
I commit myself to playing with my ability to challenge my capacity to learn and grow.
I commit myself to utilizing 'weakness' within myself...as a stepping stone, and a sort of kindling to ignite the fires within myself as my passion and potential. I realize my bullshit is like the fertilizer for my change. It is a very necessary ingredient. It's the problematic points within my character that I've rather covered up and compensated for as like a statistic I rather move attention and focus away from. I've decided to change that. I see great value and potential in turning my bullshit into gold.
I realize I am my own mine. I'm mining my own gold from my mind by actually being honest about working with and processing what I got in mind. I realize this is an ongoing exercise and practice. I realize it's a matter of, "daily small gains"...it's a little bit at a time, here and there. Everywhere. I realize it's really who I am at the core of myself here. Responsible.
I commit myself to exploring myself within the writing process without judgement and reservation. I realize this has been somewhat of a point of resistance for me as I placed too much emphasis and concern on the possibility of judgement from others. The deeper reflection here is in the regard and recognition for myself. Realizing that I've been judging myself in how I've regarded and considered others. I realize I've always been discounting myself and so too others within my judgements.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to discount myself and others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the extent to which I've been willing to justify and make sense of discounting Life Potential. I realize this "discounting" mentality is like "short changing" the best potential outcomes.
I commit myself to stop discounting the Best Life Potential Outcomes to Grow, Develop and Mature.
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