I'm really confused i must say. I'm not one to tell my problems but i love third party opinions, please don't judge me... I'm just a young confused girl.
So this is my story...
I'm a lady with the guys, like I love having male pals and stuff. I've known Joel for the past 6 years and I’ve known Praise for the past 2 years. My friendship with Joel is awesome, we laugh, curse and advice each other basically. I love his guts, he is so freaking funny and jovial. I can freely express myself, I can hit him occasionally and I have so much fun around him. Joel is one who likes the hustle, his parents have money and he aims to earn his own cash someday. Nothing basically romantic has happened between him and I but sometimes I really feel this soft spot towards him for he is freakishly handsome, his smile inviting and his expressions heartfelt. Many might say why is she leaving her love life online but I’m just in to know your opinions as one or two inputs from my pals on steemit will go a long way in the decision I have to make. Joel has been supportive in whatever way he can to me; I think he basically knows me my whole life.
Praise, on the other hand, has been there for me. Trying to make me smile, look good, comfortable and according to him “he loves me”. You would ask, “why in quote?”, well I don’t believe him, Although he is my present boyfriend. I feel he is a dominant for he always acts cool about everything, he commands when he feels like it and I can’t talk freely to him, I feel I’m scared towards him and I can’t express myself freely for I think I might make a mistake and will upset him. He works with an orphanage that belongs to his mum and he is doing well, he is always stressed out and tends to shout at me on phone when he is really stressed out[ though I feel it’s just an excuse on my part]. He always wants to know everything going with me and inputs me as part of his future plans like being part of his company and marital stuff. He is fun to be around and jovial when he chooses to. He dislikes a lot of things I do and makes it a point of duty to try and correct me in whatever aspects he dims fit. He has a lot of rules set and I can’t keep up, I have tried so hard but I keep on failing to catch up. I find myself changing sometimes to blend with his philosophies but its really hard.
Why I need your help for I’m confused…..
Joel and I are part of the same age grade. Joel is not coming of as someone ready for relationships because throughout the years I have known him he hasn’t had any girlfriends just crushes according to him and he doesn’t have any thought in mind to make any of them his woman. He kissed me recently and I responded(guilty). I really don’t like assumptions and want to read any meaning towards the gesture but I feel he is warming and opening up to me.
Praise is successfully confusing and bending me every freaking day. He is 7 years older than me and everything goes well but I find myself having serious doubts that keeps me occupied. I feel I love him but I don’t trust a love with doubts.
I feel like double dating and taking my chances with this two. I don’t wanna hope on any of them but I need your warm advice. Remain blessed as you advice on this confusion.