The first time I smoked DMT, I was already on two hits of acid.

Well, not exactly LSD though. It was a research chemical called 25i-nBOME. I was already seeing hyper-complex geometric patterns and feeling rather ecstatic. I sandwiched the waxy yellow substance between some herb in a small bong, and took a long, deep inhale, then HELD.

I placed the pipe on the coffee table before me, closed my eyes, and wondered if I had done it right while I began to exhale. Suddenly, colors overtook my visual field. The greatest light show of all time was proceeding on the back of my eyelids. It intensified until I felt as if my spirit was flying through a tunnel made of light, impossible shapes, and colors our eyes can't even process.

Eventually, I could see an opening before me. As I pushed closer, I don't remember what I saw, but I recall feeling uneasy. In it, I felt there was something alien, as in extraterrestrial. Something I was never meant to behold. I had no choice. As if by an outside force, I found myself ripped through the opening and placed lying beneath a beautiful dome of churning and shining blues, purples, and blacks. In the center of my visual field, as if floating in thin air, were 3 stained glass windows. In the midst of it all materialized the most beautiful being I've ever seen.

She bore the likeness of a human, though it was quite clear she was nothing of the sort. Every bit of her was made of jungle and forest; leaves and vines, bark and blossom. Simultaneously, she was motherly and erotic. I was experiencing awe that bordered on fear and the most pure love imaginable. She put out her hands and began to show me impossible objects made of light.

I was in her turf. If she wanted me to shit my astral britches, she could've made it happen. Instead, she allowed me to bask in the comfort of her bosom; knowing, for the first time in my life, that I am loved. Not for the things I've done. Not for my potential to do things in the future. Simply because I AM.

It was as if I were a lonely kitten that crawled out of a bush in her backyard. She appreciated my presence in that manner. From her point if view, I was just a naive little creature who was too dumb not to be curious.

Her message was simple:

"You are perfect just as you are. Go, create things, inspire the others."

Though, she spoke not through words. She used empathy, I suppose. I could feel her feelings. As I experiences all of this, shivers ran down my spine, and my body quaked. A love so deep and novel had to have physical symptoms.

Then, she dissipated. I was alone again. No. Not alone. There was something large coming toward me. It was a snake big enough to swallow me whole. I was afraid. If the lady made of jungle was so lovely, how terrible would this be? Part of me wanted to open my eyes and run around the room. I fought the urge. As the giant snake closed in on me I braced myself, but, just at the moment I would have become it's dinner, it transformed back into the beautiful woman.

She kissed me on my forehead and left as I slowly returned to waking life, my bong still seated before me, and feet firmly planted on the ground. The whole experience lasted about 10 minutes. When I came to, I ranted and raved about my new lust for life before an empty room. I believe I became a better man that night, and the afterglow has lasted for years.

I have become convinced that what I communed with was the ancient mother goddess. Isis, Shakti, Gaia, etc.

Create. Inspire.