22 years. That's how long I've been breathing through my nose. 22 years of life's absurdities. 22 years of learning from this school of life. Here are my take aways:
1. You can't be the best for everyone
I always thought that if I did someone good, that person would see me as someone they could rely on or appreciate. I held on to Confucious' teaching that says, "Do unto others what you would others do unto you."
Love begets love? Kindness begets kindness? You tell me.
In a perfect world, this would apply. The truth is, no matter how good you try, how diplomatic you are, and how nice you can be, some people can't just appreciate you. You don't have to go through miserable years trying to prove them you're worth it - just let it be and let it go.
2. You can't beat someone who works hard
I don't care how talented you are, and how smart you think you are. Hard work beats talent. Great people don't achieve things by breezing through life. At one point, they have dedicated time to focus on their goals and on their self-improvement. Even if you think you have it all because you won the genetic lottery by being beautiful and smart naturally, but you are dilly-dallying, somebody who burns his eyebrows at night will outsmart you. Even a turtle can outwit a monkey.
3. Love is a choice
We all think of love as having that butterflies in our tummies and passionate interactions. However, somewhere down the line, things start to feel neutral followed by some fights - some of which are worse than the others.
At this point, we might feel that we don't love our partners anymore. The passion has died down. The sparks gone. Always fighting.
Did you know though that passion does not equate love? Because love stays even when passion is gone, and when excitement has cooled down.
Love is that calm feeling that matures with time, yet love is more than just a feeling. It's a choice you make everyday no matter how cliché that sounds. It's the commitment to hold on to your partner when things get tough.
That said, don't confuse "love" as loving someone unconditionally by staying in an abusive relationship. Two people in the relationship should both work it out, because love does not mean being martyr either.
4. Don't count your chickens before they hatch
I used to be guilty of this. I would get so excited with my plans and how I have this goal coming to life. I would tell my friends about it. I already saw myself as having it all.
Then it never happened. My excitement exceeded the real actions I should have taken.
I only wished, and I only imagined. I didn't act on most of them, so they remained lost dreams.
If there's another thing I have learned from this is that: If I could teach myself one thing, learn to speak less.
5. Vulnerability is power
Most of my friends have known me as that girl who is always happy. I make the biggest jokes in my circle of friends. Rain or shine, don't worry Yaki is always a ray of sunshine.
Having that quality is great. I won't deny that. It keeps me optimistic and not take things in life seriously.
On the other hand, people don't really believe me when I say I'm sad. They also don't bother asking me how I feel. I appear laid back and strong, so why bother right?
Until I hit an emotional upsetting moment. I would not say it was a rock bottom, but I felt I was in a rock bottom.
That happened early this year, and up until now, I am still crawling my way back to building myself up.
So what exactly happened?
I remember crying in my room so hard. I felt suicidal. I felt lost. I felt completely devoid of will to face another day. I thought I was having a personality crisis honestly. I hated myself.
I did not know what made me call one of my friends but I did. I told her how I felt. I broke down. She was speechless. For a minute I could feel she was wondering if she was really talking to me this way. She'd never seen me this way. Nevertheless, she did not judge. She comforted me.
At that point I realized that people care when you actually show them how you feel in the most raw ways you can be.
Think of it this way if you're having second thoughts because of a bad experience that might have made you jaded. Maybe that one person you opened up to before who didn't even show an ounce of concern? Trust me, another one will.
I repeat this and listen to me carefully: People actually care. You just have to be willing to be vulnerable. Expose your feelings. Don't run from it. Don't think people will hurt you once they see how weak you can be.
To be honest, vulnerability is strength. It takes courage to show emotions, and at the end it's so worth it. You won't look at the world as black and white anymore as if everyone does not give a shit about you, so you're better off keeping people at arm's length.
That mentality is sick. I've been there and trust me, it made me feel worse than expressing how I truly feel.
So let's pour our hearts out, shall we?
These 5 lessons have shaped who I am today. The amazing thing about life for me is mistakes and failures are like the constant variables, and no matter how much we hate it when we do wrong or fail at something, we always have the choice to make it better tomorrow and take the lessons from our experiences.
As what Michiu Kako has said about his basic philosophy in life, "you move on and learn from what happened, so you won't repeat it again but eventually you move on".
What are the lessons you've learned from life? Don't hesitate to share it! I'd be more than glad to know.
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(https://www.tipwithcrypto.com/yakimoto)
My very first post on Steemit. I hope I've somewhat contributed a good content. Meow.