As humans, we tend to say one thing, and then do something different. We say we want to be happy, but then we tend to focus our attention on our problems. This is fine as long as you approach your problems with a cool head and make progress against them; but many times, we get stuck in a loop of worry and frustration that solves nothing.
Fortunately, research into the science of happiness has uncovered concrete practices for staying happy and focused.
3 Good Things
My favorite practice is called 3 Good Things, also known as a gratitude journal. The process goes like this:
- Set aside 10 minutes when you know you won't be interrupted.
- With a pen and paper, physically write down something that happened in the last day, and why it made you happy.
- Repeat this twice more. Go into as much detail as you want to, but make sure you get the basics: what happened, and why it was good.
- If you have extra time, write down a few more or add more details to the ones you already wrote.
- That's it. Your done. Do it again tomorrow.
Why it works
When I first tried this, life was fine. Everything was on track, and I breezed through weeks and weeks with no problems. I thought the exercise was harmless but nothing really special.
Then, life got complicated. I got busy and didn't have enough time to finish my projects. My kid got sick a couple of times, which added stress to my whole family. A construction project I was running went off the rails. And then I noticed how 3 Good Things really worked.
When I had a bad day, I felt compelled to write about what went wrong. But I was forced to find some silver lining to the situation - something good. When bad news hits you, though, lots of times there is no silver lining. It's just bad and you have to deal with it.
And that's the magic of this practice. You address challenges in a positive way by spelling out (literally!) how you are taking control of the situation, and focusing on the positive outcome. There is no room in 3 Good Things for whining, worrying, or stewing in your problems.
In ten minutes a day, you can bolster your resilience to tough situations, solve problems faster, and ultimately keep yourself happier.
Cheers,
Geoff
PS - If you try it out, please write a comment on this post or write your own post and tell me to check it out!