So I was hoping to expand on the Tractor Analogy in this post, but honest truth is that I'm just dead tired. Been too much excitement today with the race against Verge. If ya ain't voted, go do it, right now. I expect there to be a tight race, and very likely a massive SNIPE in the last few minutes... So get your votes in, then be ready to drop heavy at Zero-hour.

So...

being tired, I was thinking about the other things I've been doing today.. including setting up a 2nd Wastebook acct under this name, as I'm slowly but surely breaking away from well... Him.

Though I make allusions on occasion towards traumas in my past, and the things that I've been doing to correct them, the Devils' truth is that I've basically forged a new life. By hook and by crook, parts of the person that I spent my entire life being have been stripped away... usually without my informed consent.

I think it better that I don't go through all the "Ins & Out's" of what's gone on, as those are long stories better served by their own series, lol. But it is somewhat fair to say that I have been, both literally and metaphorically, screwed out of all my Fucks. You know honey-badger? Yeah.. it's kinda like that.

Except that it was most unwilling. I quite honestly, -hated- giving so many fucks, but I felt it was my duty. That giving Fucks out were what I was for. And that policy led to absolute destruction. I was, once again, driven back into the Kingdom of Butterflies. And the funny thing is... that I had quite honestly prayed to go back there again. I had prayed for years to be there, not knowing what it would take to make that happen. The Three and One were listening... even when I was fully nihilist, they did not stop. Neither the Trying Man nor Aunt Lili are known for a lack of determination.

But I surely didn't expect what it would take to get me here. Had I known... well. Hell, I did know. I knew damned well that once you call for that kind of bargain, you better hold on to your seat.

Back to the point.

So I'm building a new web presence in every sense. Establishing a new identity, because the other one simply has sooooo much baggage, and so many concerned individuals that would interfere. It's a terrible thing, but as I've mentioned before, sometimes your peer group will flat out sabotage your growth because of loneliness, or shame, or just plain envy. And when that happens, you'll find yourself facing a terrible choice...

A uncertain future, or a familiar grave.

And the thing that strikes me is... just how many of the things, that I -always- wanted to do, but put off for "Another Day", until so many years had passed that I forgot about them, or abandoned the idea due to being too old, too fat, too smart, too dumb, too whatever...

Every last damn one of them... I'm doing right now; often without even planning to. Those bargains are hard, real damn hard, and sometimes they'll damn well kill you; if you ain't careful and lucky... and blessed.

But if you survive... oh.. the Beauty... it can't be matched... To take to the Golden Road is no mean feat, and you'll lose so much.. But you won't miss it.

Because another day finally came.

Glory to the Glorious,

Silas Danois

p.s. Now go out and vote, dammit! Make this future less uncertain, lol.