As of this morning, I have officially deferred my uni course; a decision I have been back and forth on for the last 4 months.
For context, I began a Bachelor of Social Science with a major in Environmental Sustainability and Social Justice at the start of 2020, simultaneously undertaking a Diploma of Languages in order to learn Spanish. If you know me, you’ll know that this concoction of degrees is absolutely perfect for me, and I don’t regret my decision in starting them. However, as time went on and the stress began to build, I sought motivation by looking at all the jobs I would be qualified for upon my degrees’ completion. I was troubled to find I didn’t feel truly motivated by any of them. My social science degree was unceremoniously catapulting me towards life behind a desk, and that wasn’t, isn’t and never has been right for me.
And so, I began to question whether this path was really what I wanted. At this stage I had also begun to consider undertaking a Yoga teacher training when I finished my course. The more I ruminated on this idea, the more I realised I didn’t want to finish my course for the jobs it would lead to, I wanted to complete it in order to feel free to do what I truly wanted, which has always been to live abroad and (recently) to further my yoga practice. I was doing the course because I felt it would make it acceptable for me to then take an alternate route.
Some beautiful street-art discovered in Lisbon, Portugal.
I feel as though I’m not the only one to struggle with this. I remember in my last year of school, people enrolled in such a broad variety of university degrees, moving forward with whichever they found themselves successful in, not taking the time to question what they really truly wanted.
The view from the apex of a hike I was hideously unprepared for. I still think about how clear the water was. Soller, Mallorca.
This decision scares me, to be sure. However, I think its so valuable to trust your intuition, particularly when your future is concerned. I feel as though my purpose is to instigate change in this world, to promote connection to encourage broader change, however I know my destiny is not behind a desk. So, I’ve begun volunteering with organisations concerned with environmental change, educating myself on current environmental changes and encouraging change where I’m able.
The wonderful thing is, I’m about to turn 22, and none of these decisions are permanent. The course is there for me if I go back, and I am incredibly fortunate to have a range of study opportunities should I choose to pursue a different path. But right now, this is right for me.
I hope you guys all chase your dreams too.
Benidorm, Spain.