Disclaimer can't spell, wright, and don't get the "markdown style". So read at your own risk LOL.
So here I find myself again. Looking at my laptop, wondering how smart it is to put down on the blockchain. My darkest time of my life for all to see for the foreseeable future. But as I have stated before, my therapist has told me often that writing is great therapy. And she charges $200 hr. So I'm here for the discount :)
Today Its time to do a little personal inventory. You see, my mind has been freed from a ten-year fog of Doctor prescribed pain meds. And and a 6yr deep, very deep depression. And strangely enough, once the chemicals worked their way out of my body and mind. My EVERYTHING has changed. Oct 17th, 2017 my Doctor of several years cut me off my meds cold turkey. With no warning or support system in place. While I can't argue with the outcome. He made a potentially fatal medical decision based off of fear of the new political climate and losing his medical license. I am slowly coming to terms with how things went down. Suffering for a decade in everyday pain (despite having " Medicine"), plus having the emotional, mental, and physical effects of the "medicine" taking a drastic toll on me. That day I was sent away from a Doctors office, the most vulnerable I have ever been in my life. I was blown away and abandoned at the same time by the person who I trusted to fix me.
So I did say it was time for that personal inventory. I like to acknowledge the positives first.
#1 today I am alive
#2 today I choose to engage the people in my life
#3 today I choose to take a step towards eating healthy
#4 today I choose not the let the pain dictate to me what I will or can do!
Ok now for a little of the negative.
#1 today I see the damage that's been done to my family
#2 today I see the damage done to my business
#3 today I see the need to atone and repair the what Ten Years of apathy, distancing, retreating, and selfishness has done
If you spent your precious time to read my jumbled attempt here, let me say thank you and leave a comment. I still have no idea what I'm doing or If it's worth doing. So any input would be appreciated. Talk with ya next time. Oh and OSCAR says hello!! He has been more than just a friend and helped me with my depression. Someday I may share about that.