This is a story that i couldn't speak about for months. It's still hard to tell but it is necessary to let people know and learn a lesson.
When i met Kıvanç at first time, he just got out from a police station because he involved in a fight. He was a big fan of Galatasaray Football Club. At that time we can say he was a hooligan. He was hanging around at some place and crowded group of Fenerbahçe Football Club fans tried to provoke him. These 2 teams are biggest rivals in Turkish Football. But he fought alone against 50 guys because he was the bravest person i've ever known.
Then we became friends.
As i got to know him better, i noticed his friends were pushing him to use drugs or involve to a fight. But he was different from others. Me and my friends tried to calm him down everytime he gets angry and told him this is wrong. We also kept him away from drugs.
Some people didn't like him because he didn't have self-control like us. He could say anything he thinks without hesitation. Most of them were the truth and, as you know people don't like to hear the truth about them.
He found a place between us and became the most helpful, thoughtful and kind person of the group. He quit drugs completely, found a job, found a girlfriend and asked her to marry him..
He got rejected.. Back to the beginning.
He got lost again..
Most of us went to different cities to study at university. He stayed where he was and he went back to his old friends. Basically drugs and fights.
We kept in touch with him but we couldn't control him like before because we were far away from him. He was telling us that he is fine and not using drugs. But we knew..
We had to build lives for ourselves and didn't have time for him. This is the biggest regret of my life.
In 2014 he burned down his home when he was in it. But when he got saved, he couldn't remember what happened. We didn't know he was using drugs that much. He went to mental hospital and doctors noticed he had schizophrenia. This happened because of drugs he used. And he started to take heavy treatmens. We all supported him. He looked like completely free but it took only 1 year..
3rd of September 2015, he called me from unknown number and asked me about my life and my girlfriend. I felt that something was wrong but i thought it was just drugs. I asked him about if he is using but he rejected and told me he is just tired.
5th of September 2015 Our mutual friend called me and can't forget his first sentence. We lost him.
He committed suicide when he's on heavy drugs. It devastated us. We couldn't believe because,
He was thoughtful, helpful, respectful, honest, full of love and the most unselfish person i've ever met. Society didn't accept him because he was different, he was free-spoken, he had tattoos all over his body and people knew he got involved in drugs and fights.
Nobody tried to save him, everyone tried to avoid him.
After his death, we found out he donated his organs.
Even the people he fought with came to his funeral. It was the most crowded funeral i've ever seen.
Rest in peace my brother, beautiful man.
One day i asked him why don't you smile in photos and he said "i can't. i look ugly when i smile"
You look beautiful, brother.
Rest in peace..
If same thing happens to you, if you see a person with a tiny light inside him/her, don't let him/her go. Try to save people from drugs don't abandon them. And don't use drugs. PLEASE