Do you find yourself in conversations you aren’t paying attention to? Have you ever been told, “You aren’t listening to me?” Have you ever been accused of listening through one ear and letting it out the other ear? One of the most powerful ways we communicate is by listening. Listening skills account for at least 75% of communication interactions. Whether or not someone feels truly heard and understood has a quantitative and qualitative impact on the clarity of communication, trust, defensiveness and personal and professional effectiveness. The relationships in all areas of life begin to strengthen and become more collaborative, when we become more aware of and attentive to how we listen. Listening involves both hearing and actually processing the information. Here are tips we all should practice in order to be better listeners.
Active Listening
The number one secret to being a good listener is having the desire to understand what someone’s trying to convey. Try using words of encouragement as such engagement can help you retain details from the conversation. Responding with words of encouragement promotes the conversation, often allowing the speaker to share more detail than they originally considered.
Mindful listening does include both nonverbal and verbal responses, consisting of encouragement for the speaker to express themselves, expand upon what they are saying, and clarifying what they have said.
Practicing Good Habits
In order to excel in this skill, you must practice. Good listening includes the following: making eye contact, being fully present, facing the speaker, responding with appropriate body language such as smiles, nods, etc., asking follow-up questions and responding with comments that promote the conversation. You need to be able to understand what’s being said and make sure the speaker knows you have his/her attention.
Body language is important – leaning forward, not crossing your arms or legs, facial expression, gestures that you make, the amount and intensity of eye contact and the amount of personal space that is appropriate to your respective cultures and social norms.
Ignore Devices and Distractions
Many of us are guilty of being distracted by a device but it comes off as inconsiderate and really hard to ignore when in the middle of communicating with someone. It’s nearly impossible to concentrate on the conversation taking place when you’re scrolling through Instagram or dying to read a text. Put your phone away and give the speaker respect by removing any distractions that prevent you from listening and reacting to what they’re saying.
Wait Your Turn
People are often so eager to speak, waiting for the time to say their own thoughts and ideas that they often miss what the other person is trying to communicate. But it’s not about competing for time, it’s about staying silent and paying attention. Once you have listened to the other person speak, you will then have your time to respond. If you start to get mentally distracted and veer off in other thoughts, try silently repeating what the speaker is saying. This will help keep you engaged in the conversation and retain all the information that was said.
Follow Up to Show You Understand
Experts say that demonstrating empathy not only builds trusting relationships but also expresses compassion and understanding for the conversation that was shared. Once the speaker has finished you should always ask questions and share your thoughts. Doing so will further your relationship and create a level of mutual respect.
Benefits of Effective Communication
Understanding how to effectively communicate with others will likely help you experience less stressful, more streamlined interactions in your personal life as well as your professional life.
Communication in families – As children grow up and the family structure shifts, communication needs among immediate relatives naturally change. Parents and teenagers often find it difficult to have a conversation that doesn’t turn into an argument. Parents should keep expressing interest in their child’s life and reinforce the parent-child bond as it will help impact their children’s self-esteem in a positive way.
Continued connection with partner – Effective communication is a make or break quality in a partnership. Regularly sharing details about work or discussing day-to-day matters on both ends doesn’t mean effective communication is occurring. Partners need to continue to get into topics of lasting importance, so they don’t find themselves drifting apart in the long run. Those in a relationship should be determined to take in each other’s verbal and nonverbal messages, respond thoughtfully and without distraction as it will open the way to a more fulfilling relationship.
Friendships – The availability of texting and social networking can often mean a deteriorating sense of true connection when it comes to friendships. Friends should regularly spend time in each other’s presence as it develops both intimacy and empathy, qualities that contribute to long and lasting friendships.
Workplace – You can contribute to a more productive, less stressful environment by communicating openly, no matter what your position is at work. Transparency increases along with the mutual trust that often underlies innovation and team work when everyone in your workplace is able to effectively communicate needs and listen.
References
https://www.livestrong.com/article/80948-benefits-effective-communication/