Grief is a heavy thing, especially if you are not well-acquainted with it.
Our world does not like to talk about getting old and it definitely seems not to enjoy talking about hard things and things that make us sad.
I feel especially thankful for the light the world campaign today. See more here https://www.mormon.org/christmas/25-ways-25-days/
You see...
My Dad, Terry, got his wings 6 months ago... and I am missing his presence (not to be confused with presents) more and more. I’ve been trying to hide this loss from most people but especially my kids... I thought I was doing very well - then yesterday I saw they changed our “Merry Christmas” wooden blocks to this
Kids are so intuitive, especially mine.
These beautiful words deeply resonate and sum up how I really feel... I can’t find the author of them but I am so grateful they found me.
“The first Christmas after you lose someone is hard You will feel like not celebrating, but you will go along with it for the kids, for the family.
It will hurt.
The presents not bought. The chair not sat in. The memories of past Christmases that threaten to suck the joy out of the whole day.
But you will get through it. You may even raise a smile between the tears.
If you can - thank God for the Christmases you had with them. Light a candle. Cry. Start a new tradition in their memory”
I think the kindest thing you can do for someone who is mourning is this...
In the case of a death, let them talk about that precious person... today I hope you will allow me a short eulogy that is not sugar-coated, neither does it beat around the bush.
My Dad hated both those things!
Dad was smart, he had very quick wit and it made us want to laugh and often frown simultaneously. He was the champion of the underdog, a lover of those who didn’t fit in easily and who needed a cheerleader.
He was a very generous person with a small and soft heart. His heart was so soft that he needed a coping mechanism to stop it from breaking.
Terry learned not to care what other people thought! I think it made his life simpler, more bearable, much less nonsense!
Truly!
If my Dad wanted to, he could “blot you out”. Meaning, if you ticked him off enough, he could move on emotionally, as if you never existed. It sounds brutal but he just didn’t care to waste time or oxygen ruminating over something that probably wasn’t going to change. He was such a realist! But a very lovable one...
He loved his family, he loved to surf, travel and enjoy a good meal! He loved music and taking long drives. He took great photos and shared all he learned with me!
Dad, I miss you so blimmin much! Come visit me in my dreams! I love you MORE!
For those who take the time. Thank you in advance for your comment, and for “sitting with me in the dark” it really lights my world...