My social feeds for the last 24hrs have been full of tributes and that's been amazing to see, for his sake. To me it's just a sad and a constant reminder that in the end depression will eventually beat me. I know that's irrational and in my control but it will always be an option or the option.
Chester made it to 41yo. Successful career, many friends, 6 kids and a wife still wasn't enough to keep him here. I can't help but feel like the relief and absolute bliss he felt when he finally gave up and let everything go was indescribably pleasing, it's almost a fantasy, that feeling you desire when you can't escape the depression. It set him free from the tones of pressure weighing down on him for whatever reasons they may be, it's not our job to know or understand these reasons. I am happy for him and I hope he is at peace.
Regardless of who it effects if you're not happy, why keep doing it and torture yourself? Sometimes you just don't have the strength to make the changes needed to be truly happy. Or maybe happiness is nowhere to be found? Sure some people will be hurt but is it selfish of them to keep you here when it feels like hell? I think so and unfortunately that's my opinion. Let the man be free.
There is help out there to anyone reading this. There are options, if you're willing to fight then reach out and get the support you need. Suicide is not the answer it's just an option. Some days/weeks/months/years there feels like there is no other option available. Speak up. Reach out. And for fuck sake be kind to one another. There is a certain weakness to depression, but man, we constantly fight hard. We were strong once just not anymore. Don't judge what you don't completely understand. Support your friends, love your loved ones and celebrate Chester and everything he was and will always be.
RIP