As long as I can remember I made up stories in my head. Sitting in a corner mesmerizing about a story I read or a movie I had seen. I would write myself into the story in my head, or be one of the characters. If school was boring I could float away in my head and do something completely different. I might be an extreme fantasizer, if there is such thing, but it always made me happy or cope with situations that I did not like. I could reenact situations, and say what I should have said, but most of the time I just made my own beautiful stories with me in the lead.
It actually helped a lot with certain subject, especially history. If I was in the middle ages in my story, I did need to know how likely it was that a common house had a toilet in the back yard, or what they would eat, what did they wear. Would a girl ever travel alone? Would I be able to travel back and forth in time or get stuck? etc etc. I wanted to know a lot of details, unfortunately, these things never came in an exam, but I never was a bad student, even though I could spend hours fantasizing. Nowadays, I don’t watch a lot of Netflix, because I have been there, done that, already fantasized the whole story cast and main character.
When I became older, obviously attraction and sexuality became part of the fantasy. I was excellent in fantasizing love stories, and it was all very demure. It took me a long time to actually become active, maybe because my fantasies kept me satisfied. I wondered if other people also fantasized about sex, or if I was a bit weird. I found a book, which was already old, where a woman had gathered sexual fantasies from men and woman, Nancy Friday. I read it and was amazed at how many people fantasized, and how many people had the same fantasies.
I recently asked if my husband fantasizes about sex. And he said he did not really fantasize. Surely, he thinks about it, but more in the: “I would like to do it with her and her” kind of way. So, it wasn’t that he was shy, as he admitted looking at other women and fancy them.
It baffled me, as I thought everybody fantasizes about sex, and I was disappointed at the same time. I tried to spark it in him, and wrote part of my fantasy to him, but the response was so meager, that I stopped. So unfortunately, this is not a thing I can share with him. It’s not a problem, just a miss-match and missed opportunity.