A couple days ago I was reminiscing on days when I stayed up late with my mom because she was on duty and a woman was in labour. People usually said things like “she’s going to be like her mom” and oh! It made me happy. Thinking about it now makes me happy 😊 I already saw myself abroad taking care of people as a nurse.
For years, the idea I held onto tightly was becoming a medical practitioner; specifically a nurse. I loved the health sector. I pictured myself traveling abroad to practice and one day opening a maternity clinic here in Nigeria. It wasn’t just a career to me; it felt like my purpose. I never imagined myself as a Film student talk more of bagging a degree in Theatre and Film.
The turning point came in my first year of senior secondary school. I struggled with Chemistry. My teacher moved too fast and had little patience for students who didn’t keep up. And personally, anything that has to do with calculations or formulas is already a lot for my brain to assimilate quickly; I need patience and time to actually get it and I’m not shy of admitting it. Since everyone had to take all subjects in SS1, my poor performance in science affected my path. When it was time to choose a major in SS2, I grudgingly chose Arts because my science grades weren’t strong enough and I don’t want to struggle in science class. That shift was painful. Most of my friends were in the Science class, and seeing them in their lab coats made me feel out of place and under pressure. Still, I held onto the hope that I could return to Nursing or any health related course later.
After secondary school, I wrote WAEC and JAMB examinations and in one sitting I passed with excellent results. I ended up studying Theatre and Film Studies. But even in university, the desire didn’t fade. Because of my love for healthcare, my final year project film was health related 🥹 during school too, I planned to start a health-related NGO. I even went as far as trying to take a course on public health to support that work. But life got in the way after Uni, I started working, got distracted and time slipped away. I won’t say letting go was easy. For years, even after graduating, I believed the dream could still happen. But the more time passed, the more life pushed me in a different direction. There were distractions, responsibilities, and opportunities in the creative field that I couldn’t ignore.
The hardest part was grief. I mourned the version of myself I had already imagined; the nurse in scrubs, the clinic owner, the person saving lives in that specific way. There was sadness, and even a bit of anger at how things turned out. Eventually, I had to accept that this dream was no longer part of my present. Acceptance didn’t come all at once. It came when I realized that holding on was keeping me stuck and unhappy.
Now, I see it differently. I may not be a nurse, but my passion for health hasn’t died it has just taken a new form. I’ve decided that whether or not I do a health related course, I’ll still have my NGO; healthcare related of course and I’ll have teammates and volunteers from health sectors to assist.
So for me, letting go didn’t entirely mean giving up. It meant making room for something new.
And to you reading this, thank you for reading ❤️
PS: All images are mine.