Life is full of discoveries. You keep finding out new things everyday. Humans are like onions that have different layers till you get to the core. Many people have lost jewels just because they were not patient enough to keep undressing the several layers of the onions. Hence, they did not avail themselves the opportunity to discover what was in the core and appreciate the true worth of the person.
Comparison is a usual occurrence in relationships. Comparison as defined by the Encarta dictionaries is the act or process of examining two or more people or things in order to discover similarities and differences between them. As adventurous and interesting this can be when playing the game “spot the differences” between two identical pictures, it can and has jeopardized many love relationships and cause many to end abruptly. It is marveling when some parents compare their children to each other or even children of other parents. Children of the same biological parents don’t necessarily have the same cognitive and physical abilities. When some parents do this, they think they are bringing out the best in one. It might have worked for a few but more often than not it leads to unintended negative consequences. Many people have developed inferiority complex and hide in their shells just because of this. This trend is usually replicated in relationships, marriage inclusive. Spouses comparing their partners to their own parents, friends, other relationships, what they see, read and hear on the media and etcetera. I daresay; those who compare their partners with others are not wise at all.
When partners in a relationship engage in this unnecessary behavior, usually don’t even know a great deal about the other person(s) they are comparing their partners to. They often times just know a little portion of what is going on in the other relationships they have based their fantasy on. They are not fully aware of what is going on between the two parties.
People have thus tormented their partners for unreasonable, selfish and even sometimes stupid reasons. You hear some ladies and guys say things like: you don’t open the door for me and Steven does it for His wife; you don’t take me out to eat and every other guy does that to the lady he loves; you don’t buy gifts for me; you are not beautiful anymore; you have added weight and lots more. They compare their partner and their partner’s attitude and actions to others they observe from afar, without knowing whether the other party is a monster in other areas.
I have seen a lot of examples where people measure their partner with others and break up because their partner does not measure up. Usually the partner guilty of this avoidable behavior don’t own up to the real reason behind their constant nagging. They just simply create a conducive atmosphere for strife and eventual break-up. The foolishness of this behavior is usually not apparent to the erring partner until it is too late.
The scripture couldn’t have put it more explicitly;
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2Co 10:12 KJV)
Whether you are a Christian or not; you shall do well to learn the wisdom in this particular scripture. So if you are in the habit of comparing people around you to others you think are better than them, stop it now! And the food for thought is this: your partners can also pinpoint several people who are better than you are; Selah!