Lovely, long, short love, passionate, toxic, addictive, healthy, effervescent, painful love, we have all lived in one way or another.
Sometimes they end and remain in our souls and minds as memories; understood, concluded or not. They stayed there. And so that we can truly enjoy their memory and experience becomes a real helper in our lives, it is important to understand how the three stages intersect.
The stage we often dream of is love, characterized by strong, exuberant emotion, stomach butterflies, joy, energy and desire. All this is attributed to someone who appears in our lives and it seems that nothing of what has ever been made has made sense and meaning. The other seems to be what we were looking for and wanted, and we take all our thoughts. We want to spend as much time together and the other things in our lives are no longer useful, they are no longer a priority, we no longer need them.
The partner reads my thoughts and I can do the same thing. It makes me happy, everything is simple and there is no need to make any effort for what we live in. It all comes by itself and I am happy. I feel and I think this time it will not happen like in the past. That relationship is different. Like I am different and the other is different. The partner is the most important to us and we are hypervigilante to his needs.
The power struggle or the courage test is the most difficult time in a couple's life. No matter how long it takes to fall in love, whether we are in the first relationship or in a second attempt, whether we know each other for a long time or not, we all walk this way. A difficult road without alternative but with a high chance of finding shortcuts if we know how to equip ourselves properly.
Sensations are often bullying, looks like new, unknown things, and the things we knew or disappeared or irritated and discomfited. Perhaps the partner's desire to travel every weekend is an aspect that attracted us at the beginning and now irritate us, we start to see their routines and they are different from ours, maybe the self-reflection and introvertion that at first seemed to me mysterious and exciting now scares me. Perhaps the partner gets colder and we understand that we are no longer important to him.
Each of us reacts differently. Sometimes we assume the vulnerability and express the needs that we have, showing us how we really are. Sometimes we do not express the needs hoping that the other guess our thoughts until then.
The partner on the other hand, who was hipervigilent at the first stage and meets our needs, does not do it anymore. And this scares us. We do not know what is happening to us, what to do and how to go further, how to adapt to a new context. The partner seems different than the one we fell in love with, although in reality he and what awakens in us we need to rediscover ourselves. It's the stage we're like two kids looking for each other, but they do not understand because they speak different languages.
Not many have the courage to continue the road. Some go back to the start, waiting to start again, another way with another partner. Others remain in a haven not knowing where to go. But those who are really equipped and courageous, although they have many moments headache,they get hold of hand and go ahead knowing that this is their road.
And the others? They live fear and fear that the partner is not what they were actually looking for. From the inability to stay and make the effort for the relationship to work. We learn, we believe, and then we want things to come by itself, but we often do not realize that we need to tolerate uncertainty and make a conscious effort for the relationship. Because every time we start a new relationship, we get the same road sooner or later. The reason why it is important to be tolerant, patient with both us and the other.
Other couples do not give up, but do not make the effort to make the road more pleasant, better. They indulge in dependent relationships where the needs of the two are not met. And out of fear, lack of empathy, shame, or lack of help fail to take a step. I fail to create a stable environment in which to feel safe seeing and loving or asking for help so that they can do it.
Love is not just to hear the other, but to listen to it, not just to see it, but to look at it, not just to know it, but to feel it. And so we can experience love, we need to look, listen, and feel ourselves first to do the same thing with the other. We learn to love. We learn to give us the new things we need. Love for the other is unconditional: I love you because I love you.
It is the time when our thoughts are related to joy, delight and gratitude to be with each other and quiet. There are things we need to cultivate every day, and to share with each other at every occasion. Love is also expressed through care and kindness, by touch, hug or look.
If we are brave enough, patient and love, we appreciate and respect the one next to us, we have a great chance of being among the happy couples. Because love is truly the most beautiful, honest and uplifting experience we live in this world.
THANKS FOR VISIT
