(reading time 7 minutes)
What is love? This question is incredibly complex, to which the overwhelming majority of people can not answer, and this despite the fact that "love" is an integral part of our life.
However, while the majority can not give the very definition of love, many say with certainty that they experienced this feeling in their life. Unfortunately, mistakenly calling love affection for another person or, for example, vivid experiences during periods of short-term romantic ties.
In his book "The Art of Love," Erich Fromm said:
Love is not a sentimental feeling, which every person can experience, regardless of the level of maturity achieved by him. All attempts to love a man are doomed to failure, if he does not strive to develop his personality more actively to achieve a productive orientation. Satisfaction in individual love can not be achieved without the ability to love one's neighbor, without true humanity, courage, faith and discipline.
In a culture where these qualities are rare, the acquisition of the ability to love is doomed to remain a rare achievement.
If such a remark was made by E. Fromm in 1956, what about the culture of 2018?
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Is Love an art, or is it a factor of absolute chance?
If this is a matter of chance and luck, then you just need to wait for the meeting with the "same" person who is destined for you, destiny, sometimes destroying existing relationships (if it's about love between a man and a woman). Although, such a case in fact may not be presented - then, it turns out that some people are destined to destiny for an unhappy life.
In this matter, I lean towards the position of E. Fromm that Love is an art that needs to be learned, and not to give up the responsibility of complaining about the "evil destiny".
Not that people consider love to be a matter of no importance. They crave it, they watch countless films about happy and unhappy love stories, they listen to hundreds of stupid love songs, but hardly anyone really thinks that there is any need to learn love. This particular attitude is based on several assumptions, which separately and in combination tend to contribute to its preservation.
For most people, the problem of love is to be loved, not to love, to know how to love.
With this approach to the problem, a distorted perception of it inevitably arises. Instead of learning how to love and receive love in return for their own, people choose a different way of getting "love" (as they think that love is) - trade and barter.
Men choose the path of domination in social groups (to be strong) and the acquisition of material wealth (to be rich) as much as the social situation and their personal qualities permit.
Women choose the path of attraction and sexuality, caring for their body, clothing and accessories.
Also, both sexes develop and "appreciate" good manners, the ability to conduct an interesting conversation, willingness to help, modesty and unpretentiousness. Many ways of gaining the ability to excite "love" for oneself (and in fact are located) are the same ways that are used to achieve luck, to find useful friends and influential connections. Obviously, for the majority of people in our culture, the ability to excite an attitude is, in effect, a mix of sympathy and sexual attractiveness.
However, none of the above does not lead a person to the ability to love. all of the above is an asset for exchange for certain values.
Briefly, you can characterize Love as a skill, unconditional acceptance of another person as a unique personality and selfless promotion of his growth.
Next, we will consider in detail the forms of love, both ancient, described by ancient philosophers, and new ones that have emerged under the influence of new cultures.
In addition, since with the passage of time, the forms of love underwent transformation under the influence of the development of cultures, then people inevitably developed "accents" of nature responsible for "love" as a social function.
character accents - complexes of certain character traits associated with the projection of elements of information exchange that manifest themselves at the psychophysical level of the individual
We will analyze what "accents" exist in the characters that determine the ability and the preferred way of expressing love, and also the compatibility of the various types with each other.
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