You can read the first one here and the second one here
continued…
I was so excited knowing I am in love. At least, I can speak for myself. I always wish to see her. I long to see her most of the time. After work, rather than go home, I take time out to see her and end up getting home very late. I will still speak with her for hours on the phone and sleep late. Hahaha. The cycle continues.
Well, the honeymoon lasted only a month hahaha. I mean, the “lovey-dovey” “mushy-mushy” kind of feeling. Hahaha. After a month or so, I notice she started picking on little things. She ends up lashing out at slight joke or provocation. You wouldn’t think she is the type because she has this serious and calm kind of look. Oh! She is drop dead gorgeous. Have you seen her smile? Oh...sorry, you haven’t. I mean, if you see her smile, you would melt, and when she laughs, I continue laughing even when the joke is over. Hahaha. See what love can do to a fully grown man. Hahaha.
I had to ask her to open up more. She told me about the ex and how it ended and all. In fact, she was the one who did it, even though it was hard for her, yet I didn’t know she still needs healing.
You know, when they haven’t fully healed, they will compare you to their ex. When you tick all the boxes but still miss a tiny one, they still wish they can go back to that ex. They will also notice that the ex they came back to, still misses out on what you also do. Hahaha. It can be confusing sometimes, and many people have given up because of this.
So, she opened up and told me all I needed to know, and right there and then, for my sake and that of hers, even though it was SO HARD for me to do, I knew she needed space and healing. We agreed to allow her to heal and whoever her heart beats for, whether it is me, or the other ex, I told her, it is fine. As long as she is happy and not enduring the relationship.
I cut off the chats and calls with her, to allow her to judge objectively and decide what she wants.
Fast forward to several months after, we chatted and she told me she has been back with her ex. I asked her if she was happy and she said yes. That gave me a little bit of relief, amidst my shock and heartbreak. I could even feel my heart is made of glass, and I could hear the sound on the ground.
I am still a good friend of hers, we talk till date. We shared a heartwarming hug the last time I saw her and yes! She still has that adorable smile. My heart skipped.
She gave herself time to heal and that is perfectly fine. Why she picked that guy, is another story or topic entirely. It is not mine to know, at least, she allowed the process and she is fine now. In fact, she is happy and spoke glowingly about the guy.
Maybe she left to make the guy do something she found in me or to make her statement, or because she was confused, or because she needed the guy to see her worth. It is another topic entirely like I said. The bottom line is, she allowed the process to work, which made her judge objectively and make her choice, rather than me confusing her desire for comfort with love.
Down the line, I would have been deeply hurt and burnt because she would have been filled with regrets. Yes, maybe she likes me, but then, it is not enough to translate into long-lasting love. Love is love, never confuse it, and never accept anything less.
To be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.