Love is a strange and beautiful thing.
I often get dumbfounded how a person can fall in love even without realizing it. I learned this 3 years ago and frankly I am still at awe of how things happened and came to be what my love life is today. With that I can say I am truly grateful to God. Every love story is different. Through circumstances and the variety of life, regardless of what we expect, love always seems to give us the unexpected and surprisingly wouldn’t have it any other way. This may be a common case in relationships today and even long ago but I fell in love with a woman a few years ahead of me. And as a man in the relationship some may say this would prove to be troublesome.
I am writing this based on my personal experience. I am writing this genuinely of how I felt and grew with this type of relationship. I am writing this in hopes that people can see this in a new perspective. I do not imply that it is the best or that everyone should seek this kind of relationship. But if you think you are a guy falling in love with someone older than you I’d like to encourage you to be brave.
Here are a few things I wanna share that might help you too:
Looks can be deceiving.
I learned this the hard way on my first trip to Cebu visiting my brethren for a Sunday service. Suddenly, I heard such an amazing voice. I was taken aback by it. She was leading the congregation to worship and when I first laid my eyes on her I was bewildered. I wasn’t a believer of love at first sight till then. For the very first time in my life I was deeply motivated to learn more about her. She had a small stature and certainly looks very young that I think everyone would have mistaken that she was at her teen years but she wasn’t. I was through my probing about her that I found out that she was at least 4 years ahead of me.
The richness of her Life.
She had a very tough childhood. She has dealt with a broken and dysfunctional family. As I started to court her and know her life, her story pulled my heartstrings and yet I was encouraged by it. I began to fit the pieces of why she would act and think in certain ways. I began to understand her flaws and strength. I learned a lot of myself just by listening to her experiences. I grew to love her the more I learned something new about her.
A lady is a girl too.
Despite the difference between experience and perspective she still has her childish side. I believe all women do. The changes of mood, playfulness, and silliness they would always resurface from time to time. But from my experience this was her front. She would literally fool anyone with the personality and size of hers. With that, I always kept this in mind for me to not be so uptight when around her. I for one had a lot of misconceptions about dealing with older women. First I thought they were on another league of their own but they to have their sensitive and weak moments. They are strong indeed but it doesn’t mean their invulnerable.
Making strides.
Clearly the range of life experience of hers and mine are ways off. I was very doubtful of myself. I knew in comparison to what she has done in her life I realized I was still a kid. But something change in me as my love for her grew. I began to become more proactive and became surer of my plans in life. I did feel pressure when we started going out. I thought about how things between us would become so hard in the future. I completely hated the thought of pulling her down. So I pulled myself up. I didn’t speed up my youth but actually nurtured it even more and made the most out of it. It was because she believed that I will be a man that can take care of her and support her needs.
Fights and misunderstandings.
Every relationship goes through struggles and indifferences. There is no age restriction for it. As for us we do butt heads and does hurtful exchange of words. Sometimes our varying point of views and circumstances adds fuel to the fire and yet they are also the key for us to make up again. My learning from most of the fights only makes me realize how we care for each other and how there are still many things we do not know from each other.
At present I can say without a doubt that I am genuinely happy with our relationship. I can see her growing in beauty and in grace. She usually gets upset about her age but I believe that age for a woman only makes her sharper and finer.
Be bold and brave. Learn to grow and be strong. Whether your ahead or not, love is the same even ground. Love will always be there regardless of any circumstance.