Hi stemian
How are you all, may be in good health and happy, this time I will discuss a little that I understand about the meaning of a marriage.
Humans in this world are created in pairs, just like anything else created by God. There is a minus there plus, there is no heat there, there is water there fire. Certainly be everyone's hope to be able to have a partner who accompanies in this life. Getting married is the gateway of joining two people into a pair, but today there are many obstacles to marriage that can not be just elak. For example unfinished education, unfinished work contracts, or many other things. Therefore, we are very glad to hear about the engagement before marriage.
Then what is the essence of the engagement itself, sometimes there is still much wrong about this. Engagement has been known in Islam by the name of the khites, but the sermon in Islam has the prescribed rules of Islamic law. In Javanese we know tetalen, from the word rope. The string we know as a binder, as well as in the engagement case. Binding the two candidates, so as not to be free to accept others before the break of the tetalen.
In Islam itself, there are two things that tend to differ greatly from the engagements of this age. Raising an engagement like marriage, and feeling having a fiancée before the qabul grant, both of these are against the actual engagement. In Islam the actual engagement is not raising the engagement event but raising the wedding, and the law of women who have been in khitbah, aka fiancée is still someone else.
In engagement, we have a lot to do with ringing as a sign of engagement by putting on each other's rings. This is not true, the existence of a ring or in Arabic ie syabkah or engagement gift, is not an obligation but is allowed origin according to the ability of men. In addition, it is not justified men wearing gold jewelry at all, the solution offered can men wear other types of rings, or just women. But it is not justified also put each other because the law of fiance is still others, not kosher. It could be the representative of the male family or the mother of the men who dress.
If there is a cancellation of engagement, if it is from the women then should return a gift of long-lasting engagement, eg rings, necklaces, watches, gold and others. While that is not durable like food, no need to return. If the cancellation of the men then the women do not need to return.
As moral human beings we should not have to ask what we have given to others.
Women who have been preached or married should close themselves from other men. Haram dipinang other men except cancel the previous engagement or have been allowed by the previous men. Before a man proposes to marry a woman carefully and thoroughly thought out, because if in the middle of the road she cancels then she has hurt the woman and tore it up, abusing her glory and embarrassing her family.
The engagement is actually more of a binding, more than just a ring of bond markings. But the engagement is a visualization of the steadiness, establishment, and courage of men to marry women. Maturity, elegance, and stability of women to marry. The engagement should not take long from the wedding itself. The engagement is a closed gate for other women or other men to enter in the life of the bride and groom. The meaning of an engagement is the path to the glory of marriage
Maybe this is just my story about this engagement, hopefully useful.
thank you