I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH MY NEIGHOUR'S WIFE

I think I'm in love with my neighbour's wife. I love how when I look at her shimmering lean face of pure ebony, and tracing its fineness down her jaw onto her neck and beyond, I meet the surprises on her chest—these freshly plucked twin watermelons! I know her husband loves her more than I do. I see it in his eyes. But, I...erhmm...I want her!
Perhaps I should get him out of the way. No one will suspect I did it. I could just wait until night when he sits at the backyard to take breeze, do it quickly and drag him into the soakaway. Our faeces will handle the rest. He's even a bad man. I know it's a girl, everytime he goes under the tree to take calls. Deed done, I'll join his wife to look for him. I'll be there for her, and she'll come to love me naturally.
But wait! What if I marry her and another neighbour, maybe Isa, does the same to me and grabs her for himself? That guy's eyes are too red; I know it's not just Indian hemp. No no no! This is not good. If everyone goes for what everyone else owns, our lives generally will be short and the human race may drive itself into extinction. I'll talk to my neighbours. We should come up with a law—a system of sanctions to curb possible excesses. Baba Sikiru will be in charge. His kini is not working sef. Nice idea.
But wait o. What if his thing starts working and he tries to test it on our wives and daughters? Taah! Da one na small thing. No be we put am dia? We go commot am.
You see, the law is first a product of reason, then the necessary voluntary decision of all, and which culminates in a civil society manned by a government. The government, while it protects the lives and properties of all in society, can through the law be ousted if it fails in its duties. And the easiest way to achieve this, especially in a country like ours, is through the election. We know that once a government sits here, it is a little difficult to unseat it.
It is okay to acknowledge that the system rapes us all, but it will be naive of us to allow a repeat. And we aren't naive. 2019 is here already, and with it comes two options: whether to eat for a moment and not eat afterwards, or to eat every time after a moment's missed.