Sometimes people tend to take your
emotional iron wall for granted. They
think you are robotic, without any
feelings. They think whatever they do,
no matter how large their pot of sarcasm
is, no matter how harsh their criticism
can be, at the end of the day they assume
you will play it all cool. They don’t
realize the hell that is brewing up inside
you. They don’t realize that it takes
immense strength to put up that smile
and shoo off their sh** coolly. They think
you will keep on enduring it. Even if you
stretch yourself to the point of heart
break, they expect you to stretch it some
more. They do what they are best at
doing; demotivating. A time comes when
you literally shake your good self and
ponder over what’s going on? You keep
on collecting those shattered pieces of
your ego, confidence, heart and honesty
and they continue to stone it some more.
They think it’s a FUN game. They think
it’s entertaining to pull a runner away
from the finishing line at the 11 hour.
They believe their success lies in the
failures of others. Because that’s the only
thing in the whole wide world that they
are best at doing.
At times, it really becomes hard to collect
your pieces that this world breaks. No
matter how hard you try to tape them
together with the hopes of a better
tomorrow and the blessings of yesterday,
some part of you is wounded with every
crack. You try to push them away but
somewhere in the back of your mind
their echo is heard. A time comes when
you give up. Give up to being the good,
cool girl. Because the mask that you have
been wearing becomes old, torn and
rusted. It becomes too thin to hide away
the emotions bubbling inside you. The
smile wears off. You can’t keep it
anymore. You give up. Not because the
world was true but because you become
too tired to bow them with your truth.
It’s no fun playing the mask game. It’s
no fun playing the cool-headed girl. And
trust me, it’s no fun to collect the
shattered pieces of your self-esteem and
think of ways to stick them back
together. However, God promised to
reside in the broken heart and that’s
why we still pull our broken self together
because we can’t see God shattered in
front of our eyes.
