We wanted to find out how long and how sinuous it may be from simple magnetic attraction between two people to a stable and lasting relationship. To raise the stake even further, we wanted to see if a stable and long-lasting relationship can make the way "back" to the strong initial attraction.
Do you remember how much it matters to you that first moment you have touched the way that chemistry has worked?
We have come across over the years to think that every grain of attraction we feel for a man is the sign of something stronger, something that may mean love or a feeling that I must give her due, even if not we can name it. Are we mistaken by giving too much importance to the attraction? I have always believed in chemistry between two people as a defining element of a love relationship. However, it seems - a Romanian daily had an article on this subject yesterday and I promise that we will discuss the subject too - the marriages based on interest, of any kind, would last most, to the detriment of the "in love" .
When the attraction fails
"And suddenly he touched my shoulder. I do not know what happened, but I felt electric current between his hand and my shoulder. That made me realize I like him," a girl told me something now time about how she was attracted to an office colleague. She claimed that the attraction between them was so strong that it was obvious that she had to follow a relationship between them. They were both alone, and because they were working in the same field and understood well, I had the impression that the relationship between them would work. We also cheated ourselves, because the attraction was very present between them, when they were not together, they were good colleagues and buddies, but everything changed after they made this relationship attempt. Simply, they did not seem compatible.
Chemistry or not?
When we meet a person, we tend to judge it - the fugitive - and the way the senses awake or not. After the initial attraction follows the moments that can actually cause the relationship to die, from the background, or to survive: we start to "dig" and know that person.
The truth is that most of the time, the initial attraction of men towards us turns - or not - into a love affair or, unfortunately, into a short pastime adventure. And the process in us can go the same way. Perhaps it is a myth, but not all beautiful and lasting relationships start from that feeling.
I've heard, on the other hand, a lot of people - married, for the most part - saying that you can integrate chemistry into a stable couple relationship, being relationships from which the attraction has either lost or never existed. In order to be fully in agreement with your being and to respect your own principles, it is good not to remain indefinite in a relationship from which the attraction has disappeared or where the attraction does not exist.
The best advice for a person in such a situation would be to try to give them a period of time to start the "chemical" experiment to see if the end of the road is awaiting the attraction. If you quit from the beginning you may regret it sooner or later, because we have to admit that we tend to regret more the situations in which we gave up doing something other than the ones we risked little and gave I'm wrong - at worst - or I won. The reversal of the medal would mean waiting too long next to a person who does not make your heart trembling when entering the room and thus miss other important life meetings.
Plan: turn your attraction into love!
The best and probably the most fun advice I've read about this subject is that of an American therapist who says, "You can keep your clothes long enough to discuss and see if you have enough a lot of things in common?". From here you should start: from not betting on one thing: on sex - which is probably satisfactory to very satisfying if there is a great attraction between you.
Go with small steps!