A few days ago, I was talking with a friend of mine, who told me she started a relationship, not up to a month ago. I asked if she would have agreed we date, if I have asked her out and she said yes, then I wondered why she agreed to the other guy, despite she liked me.
The answer was simple, and she provided it while I was still thinking. She does not want money or gold, she does not even want to date a god that Soul’e Rhymez is, and she was interested in that thing which I don’t always give to women: “time & care”. By the time she mentioned it, it occurred to me that even if I had competed with the guy for her, he will still win her over me, regardless of how much she loves me – love is not enough.
It occurred to me that just about every woman I have been with, whether they come for me or otherwise, complained and left for about just the same reason: lack of time and care for them.
Victoria was not an exception; the sexy North American was frustrated by my lack of care.
One day she told me “Soul’e, one of your friends chatted with me for more than one hour today, we have been together for the past two years, and you have never done that”. That spelt the beginning of the end for us.
My Princess had similar complains.
I was always busy. She begged for my time, but Soul’e Rhymez was always busy.
These women did not need money from me; they are willing to give theirs, only if I had their time. Time and care was all they needed from their man.
An incidence happened last year, a lady close by, came for me, but as usual, I never had her time, every time she came around, I was always writing and wouldn’t give her audience till she leaves. Soon she found a guy close by; who could create time for her. They got so deep and did things I would have loved to, if only I had her time, but by then, her feeling for me was gone.
The guy paid the price I never paid or was willing to. All that mattered to me was my work as a writer. I was always writing, I don’t even chat or call and might not return her calls, not because I did not want to, but other things “writing”, took over and I forgot there was a lady and many others, whose feelings I must not take for granted. I felt bad she left, but it was my fault.
I was a fool. I did not have money to offer these ladies, but I was not also willing to give them what they needed – they did not even need my money, so if you think all the women out there need is your money, perish the thought. However, be it money or not, relationships come with obligations; you must have what to offer your partner; that which is asked for.
I had to let my last relationship go; ignorantly believing my woman did not love me enough. Although I could be right, I was only in love with myself.
I expected too much of her, without thinking she had expectations too. Not fulfilling these expectations mean, even though it was obvious she loved me, she was indecisive, not to put herself in bondage.
I was very dictatorial and never having time – in fact, I complained she calls too much.
She did not leave, I sent her away, but it now occurred to me I was the problem, not her.
I went into the relationship, a needy fool – I was only focused on what my woman could offer me. It hasn’t occurred to me yet, that in a relationship, I must be willing to give what my partner wants, as much as I expect her to give what I want.
We often see women who ask for money or go for guys with money as materialistic, but that’s not true. Not in all occasions.
A lady that comes from a financial handicap home needs a partner who will aid her with money – asking for money, or going after a guy with money does not mean she is a slut or not a wife material.
The truth is that we all go into relationships for what we want, not necessarily for what we can give.
Many of the women that came for me did so, because they fancy intelligent guys more than those with money – I was always their favorite, money or no money. Many of them even offered me money, but the truth is, if my intelligence does not benefit them the way they want it, they will leave – they always did. They are not wrong to leave, I was.
There are many who do not care about intelligence as much as money; that’s what they want. If it is not there, the attraction to date won’t come, you will only be placed on friend zone, regardless of how you try. It is simple, you do not have what they want, and they are right. You too would not have gone after them, if they don’t seem to have what you want.
People go into relationships for different wants: money, time, peace of mind, care, prestige, fame, career goals and sex. Getting what they in relationship bring marriage into consideration. No relationship leads to marriage without a constant supply of what one wants from it, or a clear hope that it will come.
Don’t expect anyone to expect to date you without expecting something from you.
It is only smart for you to know what your partner wants and if you can offer them.
It is never wrong to go into relationship for what you want. The world will not always give you what you want, and you can’t hold them responsible for it. But you can hold your partner responsible for what you want, if you give what he/she wants.
That is the essence of being together as lovers, married or not.
There is a need to understand that as much as you expect your partner to give you what you want in a relationship, he/she expect the same from you too.
In considering a relationship, it is only smart to choose someone who wants what you have to offer and values them more, and also has and willing to offer, that which you want. That’s what relationship is about.
If you are not willing and ready to know and offer your partner what he/she wants in a relationship, then you are not ready for one.
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