Sex is probably the most simple thing, that has ever been made complicated.
If we look into nature, we can see sex is everywhere. It's the basis for life. However, for most humans its the basis for neurosis.
How did that happen? Why is sex such a difficult topic, and how can we heal it?
To me personally, the pursuit of a fulfilling relationship to women has probably been the most powerful fuel to my journey of self-healing.
However what I was allowed to find out on my journey is... The thing that I thought I was looking for, was actually just another conditioning. And the truth lies much deeper.
It started out as a teenager, full of insecurities and a lack of love given by the closest humans, grown in a society, whereas a man you can define your self-worth through the number of women you slept with. It creates enormous stress on most men, at that young age. I was looking for love, someone with whom I could explore sexually, and a caring lap when needed.
Years later I have accepted the fact, that most humans are so deluded by society, that it's not even possible to truly share these qualities.
I'm not even going to get into the whole trickery and manipulation, that has been put forth by religion and media, which is the main cause, for why sex has been made so complicated. This topic would require a post on its own.
In most cases, we bring all kinds of old emotions, stories, fears and traumas (that have probably, before been dumped onto us by other unconscious persons, like our parents) to the person we want to be intimate with, and just dump it on them.
We forget, that we project most of the qualities we see in our partner, from our own personality. We see them as a character of our dreams.
While these dreams have a certain reality to us, they have nothing to do with the reality of this other human being we are with.
We are not even here with them.
We don't acknowledge the energy of the person. We see everything through a filter, trying to shapeshift the other to our needs. Ever since I have become more sensitive to energy and their impact on me, I just can't be intimate with certain people anymore.
I feel as if I'm in a play, and there's no realness to it. There is no actual meeting of our most inner essence. There is no understanding of what is actually going on. To me, it shouldn't be only about getting past the point of no return. Neither for the man nor the women.
Unless we can actually learn, what it means to relate to each other from an authentic and conscious place, it's going to be hard, to get the fulfillment we've been looking for.
A fulfilled sexual life can happen, when we in our selves, are so clear in who we truly are, that we understand that no true happiness can exist outside of us. We don't need to be there already. Always feel blissful. But have an understanding of the process, that you and your partner and everybody else for that matter, is going through. And staying with the process.
Then we can experience, what it means to relate to each other in a more mature way and well be able to create something truly new in our meetings.
We will be able to meet the other person with presence, and sincere intention.
We can let go of the old, and lose our selves in a beautiful dance of feminine and masculine energy.