"The unusual physical proportions of babies stimulate feelings of sweetness and protection in adults Why when we see a child feel a deep sense of tenderness? We can say that the love we nourish for children makes us happy.
The passage that sees the arrival of the first child is characterized by deep joy for the new parents, but equally difficult. Often a child arrives after several attempts of months or years. In other cases it is an unexpected arrival that disrupts the balance and the projects. In both cases, deep "internal" changes take place, transforming the diade into a triad.
The expectation of nine months is characterized by the expectation and imagination of imagining the child. The couple focuses on purchasing everything they need for the future arrival, fantastic about the name and the likely routine changes in daily life. There can be no emotional states of anxiety and worry that, if maintained at a certain level, contribute to making the wait special.
From love to love, then to conception and parenthood, the couple will face evolutionary stages, each of which is characterized by a crisis and the consequent elaboration. At the time of the long-awaited conception, focus will focus on the newborn and its needs, in the early months the couple will be busy settling on vagaries and tears in countless sleepless nights.
It is a natural state of attention to the child's needs and inexperience will focus the energies of both.
In the early months, the maternal figure is busy re-mastering her body and responding to the baby's demands, her father will have to fit into a mother-child connection to some extent, though not knowing how to move. Stress, misunderstandings on family ménage, will be an integral part of this path without obstacles.
Knowing how to communicate in a couple relationship is an integral part of growth as a couple and then as a family. Communicating does not only mean expressing your ideas in the concrete, but knowing how to manifest your inner discomfort, your emotions related to change.
How many couples really know how to get naked in front of each other, abandoning the super-hero's clothes, to get in touch with their intimate weakness? On the one hand there is the ability to bare, on the other there must be a good amount of understanding and sensitivity.
Knowing "listening" from the inside often means abandoning their armor to give space to the other and the space of the other is not always seen.
Neo-parents life must be open to doubts and disrespect, you must face the weaknesses and mistakes of your partner, without becoming accusatory.
To understand the malaise of the other is for the couple a key union point to then give the unborn the attentions he needs from the very first moment. Knowing how to respect your own individuality and the boundary of the other is what you should feed any relationship.
Understanding develops by listening attentively and not judging. Imagine being a couple with a son may not match the reality. Therefore knowing how to deal with the real image of change is an integral part of this process. Couple's life changes, changes habits and also changes sex life.
It will take some time to find your own intimacy, it is not worrying to notice the change after the birth of a child, but it takes time to rediscover its inner sphere. Post partum, hormonal change, the resulting stress for both of them may lead to a decline in desire. In these circumstances, it is necessary again, knowing how to communicate the discomfort and be able to find its inner spaces and the pleasure of being together.
The concept of parenthood can not ignore consideration of the Self and the Self that is transformed. Parenting is not "decorative" (Giannakoulas, 1996), it is not something that simply adds to a previous state, but is something that profoundly and endemistically changes the individual personalities of future parents and as a result of the couple.
Shared sharing and shared parental knowledge is not the accumulation of information, mode, notion, certainty, but a process that constantly puts itself into question.
As a paradox the main tool of parenting is the ability to tolerate doubt. A child is not just the incarnation of the shared image of the couple who is transformed, but an individual must therefore be able to get out of that imaginative image from the mutual projections of the parents, both single and shared, to respond to its uniqueness as To be no longer imagined but real."
