I Will Always Love You 6-5-6
I have waited for almost 8 long years just to experience the dream that I have been longing to happen in reality. I could still recall how the spark I kept in my heart started the day I met you in our campus. It was just an infatuation I fully entertained which totally turned out as a first love that perhaps for the past years of not seeing and communicating with you in person still remains and never dies. When we were still in our high school days, I couldn’t believe how I survived those moments that I wanted to kiss you and stay beside you all day. Although I kept my feelings for a long time because of the thought that gave me the reason not to disclose it which was the fear to destroy and put our friendship an end yet I was tested by patience and reaped the fruit of waiting for the right time to come. Never did I confess it because I wasn’t ready and I knew where I should stand at that point of time. You were something I cannot afford to have neither to own since we both thrive in the same world where everyone has to conform. And because life was a big mistake to understand, I did content myself to the thought that friendship remains the best relationship.
Dreams were fantasies of mine I had lived with our memories although those were backed off to real life. I dreamt of you not just a couple of times but countless where in our dreams you and I were the characters. I all had the chances to do everything I wanted. I had the license to speak out all I wanted to say in real and the big price that dreams offered to me were the chances to hug you, love you, sleep with you and make love with you! Dreams, all I had before…
Only a few could understand the real me and so do you. “A relationship without pain, problems and quarrels is not an affair but just a mere game.” This is what I truly believe. When our high school days were about to end I did have so many thoughts that I kept. Our relationship turned out up and down. We didn’t even have a wonderful exit in our studies for I chose to harden the soft part of me when it came to you just because I couldn’t imagine how my life would revolve knowing that I won’t see you anymore. If truth be told, that was one of the biggest regrets I ever had the fact that I didn’t enjoy the last glamorous day of our parting.
I counted all the passing years of your absence. I waited for when this spark of mine that I have for you will be gone. I waited for the day that I could lend and open my heart for somebody who deserves my love. I waited for the time that I could forget the feeling that always reminded me not to be unfaithful to you. And so I waited for the time that everything that bothered me before will be vanished so I could move on and start a good life, to have someone I can call mine and to certainly love without hesitations and doubts, yet, I still was failed to do so for simple reason that even a deep-mute could coin, I AM STILL MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!
God gave me a photographic memory when it comes to remembering something and definitely your entire profile which I couldn’t understand why I can’t fully describe somebody who is unattached to my heart but when it comes to you…Oh! I can exactly describe you from head to toe. Your hair, your forehead, your brows, your eyes, your nose, your lips, your cheeks, your body and everything are still clear and vivid in my mind. Amazing, isn’t it? That’s how crazy I was, I am and I will be to you.
My writings were filled of emotions happened in our history and no matter how I tried to divert it to another subject yet I cannot do it for a simple reason because I still am jailed of my past. You were, you are and you will always be a curse of my heart.
I gave all my best to forget you in the past years of not seeing you anymore because I THOUGHT THAT TIME COULD HEAL everything that has to be forgotten but still I failed. I had love life before yet I cannot give my best to love them in return, perhaps, I knew that only you were the one who fully occupied the loving space of my heart.
The time has come for my dreams to be held. Four years, yes! We both didn’t see and talk to each other because we never had good terms since we ended our high school days. I pushed all my lucks just to win our relationship back until I championed it with the courtesy of your soft and forgiving heart. This is one of your characteristics I truly admire until now. I love you for that…
The Social networks, i.e, friendster, facebook and yahoo chats paved ways so I could communicate with you all the way of our absences yet I received no answers from my emails and IM’s. I felt I was ignored and unvalued because you were not attending to it so I concluded that it wouldn’t come to reality anymore. Although dismayed and disappointed, I still hoped that everything will turn out fine.
On the ninth leaf and last cycle of the Gregorian time in the year of predicted end of the world we met again. I did prepare for that day to come. I knew it was the right time to spell out everything that you have to hear from me. Doubtful that it would set right but I still pursued my intentions for this will give me a peaceful mind and heart until the day I would say farewell and for you to know how happy I was when I was beside you.
I prepared my speech so well for I didn’t want to miss a thing or two since this would maybe the last time we will see each other again and the next is still to be planned by fate. I wore the best outfit I could pose to impress you and for you to say that ain’t longer the Jepthy you used to know before. I courageously crossed all the shames and awkward moments just to savor the time destiny provided for us.
You’re still the same you I knew before even you gained weight and became more gorgeous. I still am in loved with you. I attested it the time we’re close to each other. While you were talking with me, deep within my mind and heart were reminiscing the past that we had. I sighed with happiness and love. I still could remember those days we spent with each other. Just like the old days were like a joy of party in my ear as I was listening all your jokes and stories. Here this foolish heart of mine again. For the nth time is falling for the same person again. Hmp! I just miss you so much.
Never I felt bore during those passing minutes that we too had although we were about to run out of topics to talk about. Because you are a good conversationalist one would love to speak with, you wove many interesting subjects we can laugh about. I so love you every time you uttered a word, made my laugh and enjoy.
Time swiftly passed. My heart and soul were unease because we had to depart ways again yet my blazing love and desire for you didn’t let the opportunity to be wasted just because of shyness and respect for our friendship. I did cross everything and swallowed all the pride I left for myself just to outburst all the things I wanted you to know. My love for you guided my lips to detail all the things I have to say and so glad I was because I had all your ears to listen and understand my side. For that and in a million times… I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Flattered you were and I sensed it but because we both are driven by the same Yi and even we will force to bridge such gap it will never give a fruit of joy forever. A couple of hours or three I couldn’t recall anymore since we both were tipsy at that time yet self-controlled. I didn’t want to end the moment yet I had to head back home so I could rest and have enough sleep for my class the day after.
Before I left, I really wanted to build a memory with you which we could not forget for the rest of our lives. I asked for your approval if you do want to give in for what I wanted to happen. There was this feeling of doubt but I didn’t have any clue why you easily submitted when we both know that we have this awkward feeling for each other.
We submitted ourselves to the binding of heart and soul…
I had the chance to hold every inch of your skin, felt every breath you took in and out and heard the beat of your heart. My emotion was raging, getting intense and wanting to enjoy the moment we two had. We made love conservatively. We drove as if we were couple. I held your hand and you had mine. Until we both reached the place where only angels were there…
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU 6-5-6. WE MAY NOT HAVE A VERY REMARKABLE ENDING THAT OUR SOULS COULD EVER KEEP FOR WE BOTH ARE STRINGED ON THE SAME MASTERPIECES BUT YOU WILL REMAIN IN MY HEART FOREVER… MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIE…
