“To love and chose a life partner is one of the biggest and most important decisions to make in life".
Thus choosing a life partner is a serious business that should be done with every amount of caution. This is because your spouse may make or mar you forever. Your progress or failure in life largely depends on who you marry and the outcome of your marriage. Too many persons fail to detect the kind of hidden character that lies beneath the surface in the person they want to marry. Often times, a great shock comes after marriage.
“IN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON THE CONTENT RATHER THAN THE CONTAINER-BECAUSE YOU MARRY THE CONTENT NOT THE CONTAINER "
therefore, you have to consider the following in choosing a life partner:
1.) PREPARING AND UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF; •who are you •what can you offer to your partner. •what are your values and goals. •who can I live with.
ASK YOURSELF; what are the 8 basic things I need in a spouse.
2.) COMPATIBLITY( Gen.2;18); -physical compatibility, - sexual, - spiritual, - financial.
Marriage has to do with compatibility because where there is no compatibility, there will be dislocation or friction in the marriage.
3.) CHARACTER; - Find out the temperament of your partner, - Find out your partners personality, goals, dreams, vision, values, convictions, lifestyle, etc. As you contemplate marriage,you need to understand the natural disposition, emotional moods, and mental constitution of both your partner and yourself.
ASK YOURSELF- how much of him or her do I know. - Is he or she born again, - what positive or negative attitude did I perceive in him or her. - How does he or she react when he or she is angry.
“LOVE CANNOT SUSTAIN A MARRIAGE WITHOUT GOOD CHARACTER, SHOW ME A PARTNER WITH BAD CHARACTER AND I WILL SHOW A MARRIAGE THAT IS ABOUT TO SINK"
4.) MATURITY;
-is he mature in mind (not in age) to face and take responsibility of marriage. Maturity is a thing of the mindset not a function of age, physical or status. One can be 30 or 40yrs and still be a child. -a person is not mature if he/she is; • foolish and ignorant of issues of life and marriage. • dependent and does not have a mind of his own. • selfish to use you achieve his goals and dump you.
WHILE
- A person is mature if he/she is; - careful not to be selfish. - realize his/her spouse is not perfect. - can forgive those who hurt him. - put some money in the bank for his future needs. And really understands what it means to say: “FOR BETTER FOR WORSE"
5.) COMMUNICATION; “COURTSHIP IS NOT A TIME OF INTERCOUSRE,IT'S A TIME OF TALK, DISCUSSION, DISCERNMENT & IRONING OUT ISSUES. "
Communication is giving your partner the freedom to disagree without flying into range or been angry. Communication is when you and your partner can sit down and talk to each other and honestly tell each other; who you are, what you think, what you feel, what you love,what you hate, what you fear, what you believe in, what you hope for, what you are committed to..., if you cannot tell him or her all these things without being cut short, your marriage does not stand a change of good success.
COMMUNICATION IS THE LIFEWIRE OF A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE..., NO COMMUNICATION - NO INFORMATION - NO UNDERSTANDING - NO RELATIONSHIP - NO LOVE .
What blood is to a the body, communication is to a relationship, when blood stops flowing, the body dies, thus when communication stops, relationship dies. THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR PARTNER IS FREEDOM TO SAY HIS MIND ANYHOW AND ANYTIME AND HAVING THE RIGHT ATTITUDE TO UNDERSTAND THEM WHEN THEY DO.
6.)COMMITMENT AND INVESTMENT; “YOUR MARRIAGE IS YOUR FIRST PRIORITY AFTER GOD" - decide to invest and give quality time to your relationship/ marriage.
- dating, taking out, gifts and presents should not be abandoned, these helps a marriage to grow.
“THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF DIVORCE TODAY IS FAILURE TO GIVE AND INVEST QUALITY TIME IN A MARRIAGE.
LACK OF COMMUNITION AND COMMITMENT KILLS A MARRIAGE FAILS, IT WILL AFFECT EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE."
7.) LOVE, SACRIFICE AND FORGIVENESS. “ LOVE IS KNOWING THE STRENGTHS ( PERFECTS) AND WEAKNESSES ( IMPERFECTS) OF A PERSON AND CHOOSING TO LOVE, CHERISH AND APPRECIATE THAT PERSON.
“IT IS NOT BUILT ON THE OUTER BEAUTY BUT ON INNER BEAUTY WHICH REFLECTS ON THE OUTSIDE".
1st CORITHIANS-13;4-8
Finally, love is not enough for marriage, you need character and virtue to sustain the marriage and above all prayer for God's direction and guidance. For none shall lack his/her mate Isaiah 33;16.
